The 10 Top Turkeys of 2004

1. Strongbow - Oh, how we groan every time that Strongbow cider spot from Leo Burnett creeps into the ad break: 'Why anyone would want to use the taste buds of a whale as the focus of their brand campaign is remarkable. On top of that, the delivery is clumsy and, although the spot is meant to be funny, it just leaves a nasty taste in your mouth.'

2. Gaviscon - Ironic that a product designed to cure gastric ailments makes Campaign's team feel sick. Yes, Gaviscon's spot by CheethambellJWT comes in at number two: "Female traffic cop feels able to direct the traffic, dancing to the strains of the Flashdance theme. Yes, it really is as bad as it sounds."

3. Tetley - For many, the end of Sex and the City meant they could breath a sigh of relief ... that was until the sex-obsessed character played by Kim Cattrall popped up on our screens in an even more excruciating role: in an ad for tea. It sends shivers down your spine just thinking about it: "Cattrall doesn't seem the obvious choice as the face of Tetley, and the ad really jars. The use of a character called 'Auntea' as the love-life advisor hardly helps matters." Shudder.

4. Direct Line - We're still highly sceptical about Mortimer Whittaker O'Sullivan's spot for Direct Line: "Oh come off it. Everyone knows that those poor souls who work in call centres have to put a hand up if they want to go to the loo, so it's beyond belief that they'll be enjoying James Bond or Charlie's Angels work fantasies."

5. Head & Shoulders - Saatchi & Saatchi's ad for Head & Shoulders For Men is guilty of one of those "think global, can't really be arsed to act local" approaches: "While appreciating that this has to be translated to run across multiple regions, there's no excuse for cheesy lines such as 'she even steals my rubber ducky'."

6. Ford Focus C-Max - Anything that earns the plaudit of "council house cog" has to be a top turkey and Ogilvy & Mather's spot for the Ford Focus C-Max is clearly that: "If you are going to cynically try to rip off Wieden & Kennedy's award-winning Honda masterpiece, then at least give the agency the budget so it can attempt to make a decent fist of it."

7. First Alternative - A list of turkeys would surely not be complete without a Michael Winner spot. In his latest spot for First Alternative car insurance: "The juxtaposition of smug rich white male with placard-waving blonde still makes us want to burn our bras and throw bricks at a G8 summit."

8. Toyota Corolla - Saatchi & Saatchi's ad for Toyota Corolla continues to drive us round the bend: "Asked by his dinner date what car he drives, a man proudly announces 'I drive a Toyota Corolla' through a megaphone, reducing his fellow diners to an embarrassed silence - a reaction, we'd imagine,that is shared by most of us."

9. Australian Tourist Commission - TBWA's rendition of I Can Sing A Rainbow for the Australian Tourist Commission can still be irritatingly conjured up months later, making it a firm contender in this year's top turkeys: "We cannot imagine why anyone would choose an annoying nursery-school song to accompany their branding campaign. In addition, the breathless, tragic manner in which the singer delivers the tune is ridiculous. Cheer up, love."

10. Grolsch - The Leith Agency got its knickers in a twist over its turkey for the Grolsch aliens spot, moaning that it was mega-effective. Sorry guys, but the ad is still a stinker: "Aliens are persuaded to hijack bottles of Grolsch. But how freaky outer-space characters enjoying the beverage will convince people it's cool or appealing is anyone's guess."

If you have an opinion on this or any other issue raised on Brand Republic, join the debate in the Forum here.

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