THE BOOK OF LISTS: The 10 Worst agency names
campaignlive.co.uk, Tuesday, 16 December 2003 12:00AM
Launched by the ex-Banks Hoggins O'Shea/FCB management, this venture has been accused by Campaign of being the most inappropriately named start-up ever. How wrong we were. The explanation for the name is not only valid but also rather sweet. Apparently, three of the four founding partners have daughters with Isobel in their name (see above). Aaaah bless.
2. Uncle Terry
Following Farm's long tradition of giving its affiliated agencies strange names - not to mention its own odd moniker - comes Uncle Terry. The agency, which was set up to handle Farm's below-the-line accounts, joins the agency's media planning and buying division, which is, of course, called Monkey. Oh, now it all makes sense.
When it eventually launches, this will be the product of Andy Law and Kate Stanners' relaunching and rebranding of Springer & Jacoby. The idea was to give the agency a name that replicated the electric feeling you get when you meet that special someone. But so far the agency is so lacking in any kind of spark it has failed to get off the ground.
Affectionately known to those in the industry with an infantile sense of humour as "Gizium" or "The wizards of wank" (see Best Diary Stories). Don't suppose they thought of that one when deciding on the name. It was meant to be the closest they could get to "vision", but unfortunately it's also a cross between "vision" and "tedium".
5. Now Wash Your Hands
The mind really does boggle. What possible reason could a digital agency have for this bizarre excuse for a name? Maybe it's part of a subliminal message to promote cleanliness among the grubby-handed members of the advertising community ... or maybe it took its cue from the wizards at Vizeum.
6. An Agency Called England
Maybe these guys have an identity crisis or perhaps they just want to proclaim their "Englishness"? Whatever the reason, this agency needs to face up to the fact it is based in a place called Leeds - which makes it all the more ridiculous and more than worthy of a place in the top ten.
7. Davison Smiley-Jones Snoxell Wass
Doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, does it? So sticking wherever possible with the shortened version, DSJSW - not exactly concise either - is undoubtedly the best idea. This is perhaps the best example of a name created by ego-blinded founders unable to foresee what their monstrosity will look like on business cards. If we ever wrote about it, the headlines would be a nightmare, too.
8. Kitcatt Nohr Alexander Shaw
Give us a break. Mind you, this one is quite endearing, if only because it has a very nice rhyming element to it. Other than that, it's just as egotistical and disastrous as the last one.
9. Elephants Can't Jump
People have almost been sectioned thanks to this peculiar choice. Imagine, if you will, a client trying to explain how Elephants Can't Jump has been added to its brand consultancy roster with a brief to work at a strategic level across consumer and business activity. Confusion, misunderstanding and madness swiftly ensues all round.
There is a tendency for above-the-line agencies simply to keep their own name and tag a word on the end when launching below-the-line spin-offs. While, more often than not, that creates terrible convoluted names, what Miles Calcraft Briginshaw Duffy have opted for is surely worse.
This article was first published on campaignlive.co.uk
- Mid Weight Planner - ATL Daniel Marks London £30-£50K + Excellent Benefits, Central London
- Digital Search Account Manager - London - £28K to £32K - www.we Adam Recruitment £28000 - £32000 per annum + Excellent Benefits, London
- Global Production Manager Dynamic New Alliances £50000 - £65000 per annum + re-location package , South Korea
- PPC Executive - Digital Media Agency Ultimate Asset £23000 - £28000 per annum + Amazing Benefits, London
- Senior Account Manager - Experiential and Events - 38K - 42K Bamboo Crowd £38K - £42K, Central London
- OgilvyOne loses BA business
- Campaign Viral Chart: Pepsi tops Coke with Jeff Gordon test drive
- Iris and Cheil big winners at MAA Best Awards
- Twitter attracts more ads, but rates tumble 67%
- Greenpeace protests outside Saatchi & Saatchi London office
- Facebook research finds 42% switch device mid-activity