PRIVATE VIEW

By JAY POND-JONES, campaignlive.co.uk, Friday, 08 December 1995 12:00AM

I wrote this column in my sleep last night. The only problem was, when I woke up all set to transcribe it, I realised that none of the ads was on the reel Campaign had sent round - I’d just dreamt them up. There was one featuring Morecambe and Wise in bed together for Dentyne mouthwash (I don’t know if the product exists), which I remember being particularly critical of. ‘Just because they sleep together, it doesn’t automatically follow that their relationship is one that could be improved with fresher breath,’ I reasoned. There are two interpretations of this dream. One has implications for my sex life, and is not relevant to this column. The other is that it is easy to be critical of others because in the morning, when I discovered it was my own idea, I quite liked it.

I wrote this column in my sleep last night. The only problem was, when I

woke up all set to transcribe it, I realised that none of the ads was on

the reel Campaign had sent round - I’d just dreamt them up. There was

one featuring Morecambe and Wise in bed together for Dentyne mouthwash

(I don’t know if the product exists), which I remember being

particularly critical of. ‘Just because they sleep together, it doesn’t

automatically follow that their relationship is one that could be

improved with fresher breath,’ I reasoned. There are two interpretations

of this dream. One has implications for my sex life, and is not relevant

to this column. The other is that it is easy to be critical of others

because in the morning, when I discovered it was my own idea, I quite

liked it.



The ad for Hyundai shows a car designer at work who keeps seeing the

curvy shapes of Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren and Anita Ekberg.

Inspiration strikes, and he translates these shapes into the body lines

of the new Hyundai Lantra. What’s so edgy about this idea is the way you

get yourself wound up at being subjected to such blatant sexism, through

the exploitation of the female stereotype, until the clever twist at the

end. Right on the beat this one.



The new Sekonda spot brings us the thought: ‘Time is precious, it

doesn’t have to be expensive.’ The ad takes footage from a television

interview with the late Poet Laureate, Sir John Betjeman, and asks if he

has any regrets about his life. ‘Yes, I haven’t had enough sex,’ he

says. The fact that half the target market don’t know, or even care,

about Sir John Betjeman matters not one bit. He said it. It’s shocking.

And it’s very funny. The campaign’s got legs, so we should be seeing

some more of these.



Next, the Umbro idents for Midweek Sports Special. Considering some of

them are only five-second bumpers - good to see a bit of new ad jargon

creeping in here - they work very well. These idents reflect the kind of

irreverence found in programmes like Baddiel and Skinner’s Fantasy

Football. Anyway, the best of this lot has a goatee-bearded fan asking

his ‘Y’-fronts: ‘How can you call yourself lucky pants when we lost 2-

0?’



And now the ad for Agent Provocateur - the Soho ‘underwear’ store that

recently threw the party of the year. You can’t walk past it without

looking in - and that’s what this ad’s about. A bloke presses up against

the window and fantasises about the mannequins coming to life, until he

develops a hard-on of such rigidity that bang, or rather, smash, it

breaks the glass. It certainly captures the spirit of Agent Provocateur,

but doesn’t have the performance or timing of Steve Martin, who did the

gag first in The Man With Two Brains.



Whyte and Mackay has set its agency a tricky task: ‘Get us some young

drinkers.’ So it decided to get Phil Kay in to take the piss out of

stuffy old Scotch values and traditions. The one where he asks for Whyte

and Mackay with cola is the best, but really, we’ve seen it all before.

Unfortunately, the approach is never going to be fresh enough to cut it

with the Ecstasy crowd.



Finally, Trivial Pursuit. I don’t know what to say. I don’t really

understand the ads. They don’t exactly make you look forward to a game.

In fact, as it’s portrayed as something played by a lot of stereotypes

with whom you’d rather practice your skills as marksman than as a quiz-

master, it does just the opposite.



By the way, if the Morecambe and Wise ad does exist, and I unwittingly

picked it up from the collective subconscious, I apologise to the

creative team for taking the credit.



1 Whyte and Mackay



Project: Whyte and Mackay Special Reserve Whisky

Client: Ronnie Leggett, brands controller

Brief: Position Whyte and Mackay as a credible spirit brand among younger drinkers

Agency: Collett Dickenson Pearce

Writer: Ros Sinclair

Art director: Sean Thompson

Director: Geoff Posner

Production company: Academy Films

Exposure: National TV



2 Agent Provocateur

Project: Agent Provocateur

Client: Joe Corre, founder

Brief: Establish Agent Provocateur as the raciest underwear you can buy

Agency: BST-BDDP

Writer: Oliver Devaris

Art director: Brian Connolly

Director: Eugene McGing

Production company: Genie Films

Exposure: London cinemas



3 Umbro

Project: Umbro

Client: Peter Draper, marketing director

Brief: Bring to life Umbro’s position as the heart and soul

of football

Agency: D’Arcy Masius Benton and Bowles

Writer: Steve Boswell

Art director: Steve Drysdale

Director: Fred Rees

Production company: Nelson Films

Exposure: Carlton, Central and Granada TV



4 Hyundai

Project: Lantra

Client: Ken Lee, marketing director

Brief: Launch and position the new Lantra as a stylish and distinctive alternative to mainstream marques

Agency: Leagas Delaney

Writer: Tim Delaney

Art director: Tim Delaney

Director: David Garfath

Production company: Paul Weiland Film Company

Exposure: National TV



5 Hasbro Games

Project: Trivial Pursuit

Client: Sharon Carter, marketing director

Brief: Revitalise Trivial Pursuit - turn it from 80s to 90s

Agency: Griffin Bacal

Writer: Robin England

Art director: Claire Donovan

Photographer: Jane Hilton

Exposure: Posters and national press



6 Time Products

Project: Sekonda

Client: Nick Smith, managing director

Brief: Reassert Sekonda’s position as the UK’s leading watch brand

Agency: M&C Saatchi

Writers: Richard Dean and Simon Dicketts

Art director: Martha Riley

Exposure: National TV



This article was first published on campaignlive.co.uk

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