THE BOOK OF LISTS: The 10 Masters of spin

1. "We are definitely not looking for another agency," a Benecol

spokeswoman crooned, in the week in which the company saw creds from

eight agencies. It later emerged that the account was staying with

Saatchis. Benecol claimed it had talked to agencies "only as part of a

regular benchmarking exercise". Work now airing (above) is by Miles

Calcraft Briginshaw Duffy. Interesting benchmarking.



2. "The river of new business never stops flowing," Andy Law crooned for

some unknown reason. Looking at St Luke's position on the new-business

performance league - bottom with minus £55.5 million in billings -

it seems the river was flowing out of, rather than in to, St Luke's

offices.



3. Bruce Haines, president of the IPA, was determined that the billings

nose-dive recorded on the front of Campaign in August was not evidence

of a recession. He said: "The first six months of 2000 were bumper

months. Growth rates were between 11 and 15 per cent year on year. Those

rates are clearly unsustainable. Going forward, growth rates are looking

more normal. This is a wholesale correction."



4. Trish Wadley, the former marketing director of The Independent, when

quizzed over whether she was reviewing the paper's advertising account

out of Euro RSCG Wnek Gosper, said exasperatedly: "I have gone on record

a number of times saying we are not looking for a new agency." The

Independent's account is currently residing with Walsh Trott Chick

Smith.



5. Andy Law (again) when Ikea put St Luke's on notice and decided

instead to use freelance creatives for its advertising. "It's been a

tremendous partnership for six years," he said. " We wish it the best of

luck." Such restraint.



6. Chris Arnold, the former integrated creative director of Saatchi &

Saatchi, denied that he was leaving the agency despite an insider

claiming "an amicable split". Arnold said: "I'm still here and there are

plenty of exciting things going on." He has since parted company with

the agency.



7. Trevor Beattie, when commenting on the departure of the TBWA/ London

senior creatives, Paul Belford and Nigel Roberts, managed to conceal a

nice little jibe in his parting complement to them - an example of

spinning at its best. "I wish them well because it is a big challenge,"

he said.



8. Jeremy Miles upheld his reputation for maintaining his smoother than

smooth composure no matter what happens. When Neil Dawson, a stakeholder

in Miles Calcraft Briginshaw Duffy, quit for TBWA/London, he said: "I'm

saddened that Neil is leaving, but he's going to a fantastic job in a

great agency."



9. In May the Department of Social Security claimed it had accidentally

underestimated its adspend by a whopping £7 million. The

Conservatives and Liberal Democrats were understandably doubtful as the

spend hike - to £18.4 million - came in the run-up to the general

election.



10. Chris Ingram once allegedly said that he would rather lick the floor

of an abattoir than be bought out by WPP. However, when the Tempus

chairman was faced this year with just such a reality, he managed to

respin his tune to say (rightly) that through the takeover, CIA and

Outrider have the opportunity to become truly global networks of real

scale. But how it must have hurt him to say it.



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