CAMPAIGN DIARY: I’M ONLY A PUNTER BUT ..

When someone extremely famous said, ’I know that half my advertising budget is wasted but I don’t know which half’, he obviously didn’t work for a manufacturer of feminine hygiene products. If he had, he would have been perfectly aware that the half he spent on advertising the damn things to men was the wasted half.

When someone extremely famous said, ’I know that half my

advertising budget is wasted but I don’t know which half’, he obviously

didn’t work for a manufacturer of feminine hygiene products. If he had,

he would have been perfectly aware that the half he spent on advertising

the damn things to men was the wasted half.



No doubt the media planners can produce very prolix arguments to show

that advertising on TV is the most cost-effective way of reaching the

target market. However, it still irritates the hell out of me, a mere

male, the number of times I have to sit through the bloody things (pun

intended) on TV.



And why so many? Once it was just tampons, but now its ’panty liners’ as

well. (My mum said nice girls wash their knickers everyday anyway.)



And why do they always have to use blue ink to demonstrate how absorbent

the things are? Is it that, although we can use our imagination to

visualise where they go, we are likely to be offended by being shown the

real colour?



And now, it seems, the ’panty liners’ apparently aren’t any good if they

don’t have ’wings’, for God’s sake. How much better and more confident

the user feels, thanks to these new wonders of technology.



Then there is that ridiculous commercial where this nerdy teenager is on

holiday in Venice or somewhere and, after wittering on for hours about

how confident she feels, she signs off with the classic line: ’Now, the

only thing that can spoil my holiday is running out of film.’



I can think of a million things that might spoil her holiday, but

running out of film is not likely to be one of them. Why should she

anyway? There’s a goddamn kiosk on every corner, and even if she ran out

of money (much more likely) her friends have probably got rolls of the

stuff tucked in their panty-lined knickers!



So what’s my point. Oh yes, the copywriter who penned this appalling

load of drivel needs to get some serious lessons in real life, and as

for the client who approved it - I am lost for words.



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1 Job description: Digital marketing executive

Digital marketing executives oversee the online marketing strategy for their organisation. They plan and execute digital (including email) marketing campaigns and design, maintain and supply content for the organisation's website(s).