CAMPAIGN DIARY: I’M ONLY A PUNTER BUT ..

Real life? Real life? Don’t talk to me about real life. If I hear ’real life’ preceding the word ’advertising’ again I’m going to cancel my subscription to the John Webster Ad of the Month club. Most agency people haven’t seen a part of ’real life’ since they left school and even then just how close does your average Charterhouse numpty get to riding on a public bus, eating fish and chips, queuing in the Post Office, etc?

Real life? Real life? Don’t talk to me about real life. If I hear

’real life’ preceding the word ’advertising’ again I’m going to cancel

my subscription to the John Webster Ad of the Month club. Most agency

people haven’t seen a part of ’real life’ since they left school and

even then just how close does your average Charterhouse numpty get to

riding on a public bus, eating fish and chips, queuing in the Post

Office, etc?



The members of the real life brigade who invented the genre fall into

three camps. First, there are those creatives who use the title of real

life simply to depict drugged-out teenagers and pretend that all 14- to

20-year-olds are like that. Second, some people attempt to depict UK

lifestyles juxtaposed to a completely alien product to imply that real

Brits use the stuff just by pure psychological osmosis.



Finally, and perhaps most pathetic, several well-known top agency folk

use it to cover up their yawning inadequacies in an inadmissible

struggle to find even a single semi-decent idea.



Every one of us has been there: ’What do you mean, you’ve never seen a

performing seal open a current account before? It’s real life, for

Chrissakes!’



And if I see another ad where a family of cheesy children gambol happily

beside their lovey-dovey mum and dad, I will go completely mad. Whenever

I see that family in the NatWest commercial, I want to kick the

telly.



That’s about as real life as 22-year-olds earning 25 grand, flying first

class, owning their own Primrose Hill maisonette and having a whole

crowd of older, wiser and more rational people treating them with even a

grain of respect just because they’ve identified the fact that real

people do, on occasion, prefer not to be patronised.



Send your rants (around 400 words, please) to Diary Editor, Campaign,

174 Hammersmith Road, London W6 7JP.



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