CAMPAIGN DIARY: I’M ONLY A PUNTER BUT ..

Begging your pardon, but is a humble country bumpkin allowed to invade the hallowed pages of Campaign? I ask because two recent campaigns suggest that my custom and my money are not wanted in the big city.

Begging your pardon, but is a humble country bumpkin allowed to

invade the hallowed pages of Campaign? I ask because two recent campaigns

suggest that my custom and my money are not wanted in the big city.



First came Selfridges, claiming that ’it’s worth living in London’ using

photographs taking a jibe at country life. At a single stroke, the store

pissed off a good proportion of its clientele. Or perhaps it thinks us

country-dwellers only buy candles, smocks and spare parts for

muck-spreaders. I have news for the powers that be at Selfridges and its

oh-so-stylish agency - people outside the M25 have money to spend. We

don’t barter a rabbit and a pheasant for one sack of potatoes. We use

real money to buy extravagant luxuries from famous London stores like

Selfridges. Or rather, we did. Because I for one know when I’m not

wanted.



Anyway, just as us punters from the sticks were getting over the insult

from Selfridges, its agency struck again. ’If you can’t stand the heat,

get out to Hitchin’ runs its latest assumption that after a hard day

running errands for Londoners, we ignorant country yokels take to our

horses and carts and rush home before milking time. Actually, many of us

stay on in the metropolis.



Believe it or not, electric trains connect London and the surrounding

towns until after midnight. We visit London’s cinemas, theatres, clubs

and restaurants. All the establishments, in fact, that advertise in Time

Out. Although in future I intend to change my ways. I’ll stick to the

cinema in Aylesbury (it has colour pictures and talking sound, you know)

and for real excitement I’ll go and play dominoes in the Old Swan or

cribbage in ye olde village hall. All of which means, of course, that I

won’t need to buy Time Out.



Congratulations to you style gurus. It’s quite an achievement to produce

two campaigns that deter a large section of their audiences from buying

the product.



Maybe it’s time you ventured out of Soho and took a breath of

invigorating country air. Though if you bump into me in some leafy lane,

don’t expect me to doff my cap to you. Instead, I’ll taunt you with a wad

of fivers, the money I’m saving by not spending it with your clients.



Send your rants (around 400 words, please) to Diary Editor, Campaign, 174

Hammersmith Road, London W6 7JP.



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