Does anyone remember when it was a pleasure to spend a few hours with your nose in a magazine?

Does anyone remember when it was a pleasure to spend a few hours

with your nose in a magazine?

These days I find that practically every periodical I pick up has to be

held at arm’s length. This is not because I’ve passed the 40-year-old

mark and my eyesight is not what it used to be. No, my sense of smell is

as sharp and easily offended as it was all those years ago when it was

just the visual and copy content of perfume ads that stank.

Does the obnoxious stench of several so-called ’perfume’ impregnated

pages, mixed with printing ink and glue, do anything for either the

advertiser or the magazine involved? Or does it just get up the punter’s


Surely, if such sensory bombardment added anything to our reading

pleasure, we’d have seen everyone on the 8.30 to Waterloo hiding behind

their magazines with toilet-rim freshener blocks wedged up their

nostrils long ago.

Like piped Muzak in shops and restaurants, and car alarms screeching

outside your bedroom window, magazines that stink are yet another form

of pollution that helps ruin what was once a pleasurable pastime.

And another thing - I never thought I’d say this but these repugnant

pages are actually more annoying than those wasteful and pointless

inserts that dance the conga along the pavement behind you as you leave

the newsagent.

Let’s banish this comfortless cocktail of chemicals from our reading

matter before the people at Pot Noodle latch on to the idea and life

becomes an eternal elevator ride with a terminally flatulent attendant.

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