CAMPAIGN DIARY: I’M ONLY A PUNTER BUT ..

American advertising. To paraphrase a line from an American movie, it’s not in the same league. It’s not even the same sport. So why do I find myself sitting through an increasing number of American ads, all seemingly devised to appeal to someone with the IQ of a mollusc?

American advertising. To paraphrase a line from an American movie,

it’s not in the same league. It’s not even the same sport. So why do I

find myself sitting through an increasing number of American ads, all

seemingly devised to appeal to someone with the IQ of a mollusc?



To add insult to injury, half of them are badly dubbed with English

voiceovers.



Do they really believe this is enough to convince me I’m not watching

some piece of tat intended for someone with a higher level of patriotic

self-delusion and cholesterol than myself?



I assume the thinking behind such folly runs thus - ’Hey, it works in

America and li’l ol’ England speaks the same language (with that funny

kinda cute accent) so it’s bound to work there.’



Well, here’s my side of the story.



I don’t want to mountain bike over a cliff edge. I don’t want to have an

orgasm about my hair color (sic). I don’t want to be remembered like

Alexander Graham Bell.



I don’t believe that some old bloke playing the blues means my beer will

taste better and I don’t want the best a man can get.



Have you ever met a man who runs marathons, rescues cats from trees,

punches the air and always has a chipaway wink and smirkaway smile for

everyone? If such a bloke walked into my local boozer he’d get filled in

before he’d raised a perfectly manicured finger to order his ’club

soda’.



In A Fish Called Wanda, Kevin Kline berates John Cleese about us English

believing we’re so superior. Well, we’re not, we’re just different. We

don’t think that a few swift halves at lunchtime are a sure sign of

alcoholism.



We don’t believe that wearing jeans which look like two laundry bags

strapped together is ’cool, dude’.



So I offer our American friends this ultimatum: keep your damn ads to

yourselves. Otherwise, remember the time we brought you Benny Hill?

Well, we’ve got plenty more where that came from - and some of it is

even worse.



You have been warned. Have a nice day now.



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1 Job description: Digital marketing executive

Digital marketing executives oversee the online marketing strategy for their organisation. They plan and execute digital (including email) marketing campaigns and design, maintain and supply content for the organisation's website(s).