Everybody’s got this Big Lewinski thing completely wrong. It’s not
a moral issue at all. Goddammit, Bill Clinton is the President of the
Who cares if his cigars give off an unusual aroma? This is the most
powerful man in the world we’re talking about. He should be able to
place the Presidential penis wherever the hell he likes.
A stream of models and film stars should be summoned to the White House
lurve den every evening without fail. After all, the last thing the
world needs is a sexually frustrated man with his hand on a big red
No, the really offensive issue here is one of gross unforgivable
This is a man who has, at his disposal, the world’s most deceptive,
covert agencies. The FBI. The CIA. US Military Intelligence. Mulder and
Scully themselves, for all we know. And he can’t even get away with a
bit of hide the sausage - some-thing millions of ordinary men manage on
a daily basis without putting their jobs at risk and having it plastered
across the world’s newspapers. Clinton was foolish to get caught.
No, the question I want answered is, is this bumbling incompetent really
the man we want leading the world? Enough already, cry the voters. We
want a man who can jump from a stealth bomber over Baghdad, parachute
unnoticed into Saddam’s private residence, sneak into his harem and have
it off with all his concubines without anyone being any the wiser.
Face it, Bill. You’ve launched your last Presidential love missile,