It’s hard to imagine a worse experience than going on Blind Date,
but Channel 4’s Dishes must be worse, certainly if you’re Helen
Dixson-Smith, a production assistant at Leo Burnett.
Dixson-Smith appeared in Thursday’s edition of Dishes, being wooed by
three strange guys. Dishes, in case you’ve been lucky enough to miss it,
is the show where three people vie for the attention of the ’picker’ by
cooking her a particular ’dish’. Our Burnett girl, however, drew the
short straw and was offered the choice of three young men who weren’t
quite sure how much they wanted her.
After Dixson-Smith revealed she didn’t like hairy backs or chests, her
first potential date was a Greek cockney whose body hair would have put
Clint Eastwood’s orang-utan sidekick, Clyde, to shame. After turning her
nose up at that, she was awarded a fairly cute, long-haired chap who
scored badly when Dixson-Smith asked him to dance and his lolloping
performance failed to impress. Helen’s final option was a bespectacled
bloke who felt no shame in admitting that he was a quality controller
for a ’well-known shopping channel’.
Then came the food. Number one rustled up a charming potato croquette
and chicken nugget surprise, while number two thought a Black Forest
gateau would charm Dixson-Smith into choosing him. Wisely, number three,
the geeky bloke, opted for a Mediterranean salad which won him the
On the night, however, Dixson-Smith wasn’t overly impressed. Our hero
had apparently spent more time staring out of the window at passing
ladies than talking to her. We’d have gone for Mr Black Forest gateau.