Close-Up: The Hot Seat - Jeremy Garner, Weapon7

Name: Jeremy Garner

Job: Creative director, Weapon7

- You've got five hours left before the world explodes. What do you do?

I would try to construct a spacecraft out of a bathtub, a large elastic band, a hydrogen bomb and copious quantities of hope.

- What's your best joke?

I quite like: "What is E.T. short for? Because he's got tiny little legs."

- What's your biggest fear?

That's a forward question and you should be restrained, sectioned and spanked for asking that.

- When did you last cry and why?

In 1997, when I was discussing a wedding. It was spontaneous, but in a happy way.

- Who is your hero?

I don't have any heroes. But if I did, Matt Caughthran, the lead singer from The Bronx, would be up there.

- Name one thing about yourself that few people know.

I once harboured an unquenchable craving to become a dentist.

- What's the worst thing about your job?

The fact that, sometimes in the summer, the commute into King's Cross can be governed by the sanctity of sweat.

- What do you see when you look in the mirror?

Sometimes I see a spider, because I live in an old house, and my children love spiders.

- Which historical figure do you most identify with and why?

Probably Frankie Fontaine, because he too was abducted by beings from another planet.

- If you had a trained monkey, what would you make it do?

I'd teach it to pogo and spit when I play the drums.

- If your office was burning down, what object would you save and why?

I would collect up everyone's lost shoes to return to them, because there are always lost shoes after a frenzied stampede.

- Are you happy?

Yes - and I'm not just saying that because a higher being may be listening in.

- What's your most evocative childhood memory?

When we were three, myself and my friend Paul would wee into a bucket, mix it with soil, and pour it over the ants on a rockery. We used to call it "ant mixture".

- What belief do you hold most strongly?

That my kids mean everything to me.

- What's on your iPod most-played list?

Generally, anything from The Bronx's first three albums.

- What do you wear in bed?

Ragged off-cuts of cloth.


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