Close-Up: The Hot Seat - Joseph Petyan, JWT

Name: Joseph Petyan

Job: Joint managing director, JWT

- You've got five hours left before the world explodes. What do you do?

Go for a test drive at HR Owen in South Kensington with no intention to return.

- What's your best joke?

Scrawled graffiti on a hand-dryer in the gents circa 1997: "Press here for Blair's speech."

- What's your biggest fear?

Diesel on a wet roundabout.

- When did you last cry and why?

Watching Cinema Paradiso. I challenge anyone not to cry during it.

- Name one thing about yourself that few people know.

As a child, I was offered the lead role in Empire Of The Sun - Christian Bale took it instead.

- What's the worst thing about your job?

Looking at our agency carpet. (There's an old joke here. When the carpet was laid, the building manager was heard to say: "All I said was that I fancied a few lines ...")

- What do you see when you look in the mirror?

Two stone too many.

- Which historical figure do you most identify with and why?

Ernest Shackleton. He could endure the most incredible challenges while looking after those around him.

- If you had a trained monkey, what would you make it do?

Sit on my shoulder in a red waistcoat eating cashew nuts.

- If your office was burning down, what object would you save and why?

Our head receptionist, Michele. (No, this is not the objectivising of women. It's just that we're getting married.)

- Are you happy?

When eating.

- What would you do if you were invisible for the day?

Sneak into The National Gallery, steal Turner's The Fighting Temeraire and put it above my fireplace at home.

- What's your most evocative childhood memory?

My dad taking me to the cinema to see Chariots Of Fire.

- What's your most irritating habit?

Conversing (badly) while BlackBerrying (badly).

- What belief do you hold most strongly?

Understand motivations.

- What's on your iPod most-played list?

Gil Scott-Heron.

- What do you wear in bed?

Chanel egoiste.


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