Job: Chairman and chief creative officer, Lowe New York
- You've got five hours left before the world explodes. What do you do?
Try to hide the information from my boys. Though I would have to drag them off the Wii first, which would be like the end of the world to them.
- What's your best joke?
As a writer, I'm jealous of good jokes so don't really register them. But I laugh very easily and injuriously. I laughed so much at a recent YouTube clip of a Dutch interviewer who couldn't keep a straight face when interviewing a victim of accidental castration, my spleen nearly imploded.
- What's your biggest fear?
Dangerous drivers, guns, drugs: all the American dad stuff. My experience of having children is that you become a lot less autobiographical in your outlook. That means hopes, fears, everything.
- When did you last cry and why?
I just came back from Sydney. While I was there, I would Skype my wife and little boys and often had a good blub afterwards.
- Who is your hero?
- Name one thing about yourself that few people know.
I suffer from recurring postherpetic neuralgia. Also, I am kind and like people, which some might find shocking.
- What's the worst thing about your job?
Having to fire somebody. In distant second place, clients who treat agencies without dignity or civility simply because they can.
- What do you see when you look in the mirror?
A boy disguised as a man. Also, spookily, I have not a single grey hair, which, perversely, has been freaking me out for about ten years.
- With which historical figure do you most identify with and why?
Any of the original American pioneers: this place is so vast and intractable.
- If you had a trained monkey, what would you make it do?
- If your office was burning down, what object would you save and why?
Laptop. It's all in there.
- Are you happy?
Only if I'm successful as a father or husband or manager or business partner. Otherwise, I make myself miserable. So I suppose the answer is no, not unreservedly.