Close-Up: The Hot Seat - Paul Bainsfair, iris

Name: Paul Bainsfair

Job: Chief executive for Europe, iris

- You've got five hours left before the world explodes. What do you do?

Cut the blue wire.

- What's your best joke?

Man asks friend: "What's the difference between erotic and kinky?" Friend replies: "Say you trace a feather lightly over your wife's naked body - that's erotic. Now, if you use the whole chicken ..."

- What's your biggest fear?

Losing my hair.

- When did you last cry and why?

Last summer, when my dog, Taxi, died.

- Who is your hero?

Keith Richards.

- Name one thing about yourself that few people know.

I am also a farmer. If you want to know about Defra's single payment scheme - I'm your man.

- What's the worst thing about your job?

The death of the lunch.

- What do you see when you look in the mirror?

Occasionally, single long hairs growing out of my face that definitely weren't there the day before.

- Which historical figure do you most identify with and why?

Catherine the Great's horse. Because my work often takes me far beyond the job description.

- If you had a trained monkey, what would you make it do?

Whatever makes it happy. I definitely don't want a pissed-off monkey on my hands.

- If your office was burning down, what object would you save and why?

Our one-off, metre-high chrome London 2012 mascot.

- Are you happy?

President Mitterrand once said that it was impossible for an intelligent man to be truly happy. Yes, I am happy.

- What would you do if you were invisible for the day?

What do you mean? I'm over 50 and work in advertising - invisibility is already a daily occurrence.

- What's your most evocative childhood memory?

Driving my dad's Hillman Minx with one of those toy suction steering wheels.

- What's your most irritating habit?

Telling the same old anecdotes.

- What belief do you hold most strongly?

Ready, fire, aim.

- What's on your iPod most-played list?

Gimme Shelter.

- What do you wear in bed?

Freebie Qantas business-class PJs.


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1 Job description: Digital marketing executive

Digital marketing executives oversee the online marketing strategy for their organisation. They plan and execute digital (including email) marketing campaigns and design, maintain and supply content for the organisation's website(s).