DIARY: Ant & Dec show could offer worst prizes ever

While haemorrhoid cream may bring blessed relief to many in this world, it's not something you'd wish to win on a quiz show.

But that could well happen to some poor sod in Ant & Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway show. While the randomly selected ad break may bring contestants a new car, it could also quite as easily go horribly pearshaped; after all, who in their right mind would rejoice at "winning the Daily Mail's lovingly advertised Jubilee plate.

Yes, there could well be tears at some of the "gifts available from the ad breaks. A crate of Fybogel, the laxative, perhaps? Or Robert Dyas' ironing board covers - in five cheerful colours, natch. And while Stannah Stairlifts have their uses, the same can't be said for that 80s compilation album, which screams, understandably: "Not available in the shops! Then there's the Daily Mail's CD, "Romantic Classics (Volume Two, no less).

It's enough to put any contestant off their food - especially if it's the recently advertised green Sunny Delight.


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1 Job description: Digital marketing executive

Digital marketing executives oversee the online marketing strategy for their organisation. They plan and execute digital (including email) marketing campaigns and design, maintain and supply content for the organisation's website(s).