7.30pm Vinopolis The Daily Express is celebrating its 100th
birthday and its ’new’ moniker with a party in darkest south London. A
gaggle of media hacks stumble around the Dickensian alleyways,
8pm The celebrity quotient is provided by Esther Rantzen and ’queen of
tarts’ Jane Asher, who cling together like nervous pubescents at their
TV chef Antony Worrall-Thompson runs his expert eye over the canapes but
settles for a portion of fish and chips. King of spin Max Clifford is
promoting his clients’ latest shenanigans to OK! editor Martin
8.30pm The Daily Express classified crew are found guzzling shampoo and
high-rolling it on the roulette tables. Alas, it’s not on account of
Margaret Nugent’s largesse - they’re playing with ’pretend’ money. The
display team scatters at the sight of our camera. Judith Evans, a slave
to the lens, rounds them all up. Guy Chiswick, the self-acclaimed ’best
dressed man at the Express’, models his sartorial splendour. But Rob
Bratby, clearly a man with something to hide, continues to shy away.
9pm Two right-wing fanatics, John Redwood and Jack Straw, hover around
hoping to upbraid editor Rosie Boycott on the paper’s lurch towards
But where is she?
Meanwhile, a pair of managing directors, the Express’s Andy Jonesco and
Initiative’s Roy Jeans, battle it out like Schumaker and Coulthard on
the giant Scalextric track.
10pm Disco queen Fiona Corallini energetically leads the bopping and
Boycott finally arrives, only to be ignored by everybody on her
Surely not a wallflower at her own party?