DIARY: Cracknell and Bishop almost sunk as naval vessels prove alluring

Now that Andrew Cracknell has relinquished his executive creative director duties at Bates, he's going to have more time on his hands.

Those of you who know him won't be surprised to hear that he intends to spend a large percentage of it messing about on his boat, the Severance.

One can imagine Cracknell, pootling around the south coast in his sailor's hat, lounging on the deck beneath a glorious summer sun, with a tethered bottle of '82 Bollinger cooling in the water.

However, even this life has its pitfalls, as Cracknell found out last week, when he was sailing into Portsmouth harbour.

Having just negotiated a tricky Channel crossing, Cracknell decided he'd have a quick look at the Navy vessels on display before returning to land and a hero's welcome. Imagine his shock when, suddenly, with sirens blazing, a Ministry of Defence police launch pulled out in front of him. Unbeknown to Cracknell, it is now prohibited to sail within 50 metres of any warship.

As the polite, yet dutiful, harbour guard took down Cracknell's details, he was seemingly unaware of a cowering figure behind the sail - a certain Mr Alan Bishop.

Although Bishop maintains that he stood shoulder to shoulder with Cracknell in his hour of need, Campaign has it on good authority that he actually hid himself away, while having visions of newspaper headlines reading: "Head of COI arrested by MOD on spying charges."

Cracknell may still be summoned by the Queen's Harbour Master, so, naturally, he's keeping a relatively low profile at the moment. Bishop has taken matters a step further, and is currently in hiding, dressed as a Middle-Eastern peasant, somewhere in Kabul.

Rest assured that once the whole affair blows over, the two of them will be back on the ocean waves. Rumour has it that for their next expedition, they plan to sail the Severance through a nuclear test zone, somewhere in the Pacific Rim. We wish them well.

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