DIARY: D'Arcy staff are hardly rhapsodising over the men behind the deal

You have to feel sorry for the poor folk at D'Arcy, wiped out as they were with one stroke of an elegant Parisian fountain pen.

"These things happen," you might say, and you'd be right, they do. But there's always something sad about an network with so much tradition kicking the bucket, and if anyone was wondering how the D'Arcy staff took the news of their agency's collapse, the answer is very badly. What's more, we have the proof.

As a small leaving present to themselves, the D'Arcyans donned coloured glam rock wigs, grabbed spongy guitars and recorded their own version of the Queen epic Bohemian Rhapsody, cheekily entitled D'Arcy in Collapsody. Imagine our glee when a copy of the accompanying video landed on our desk.

The video has much to recommend it. Not only is it a valuable insight into the surreal workings of seriously disturbed minds, but it also boasts singing so bad it's almost a joy to hear.

As well as being tone deaf, the D'Arcy lot are clearly a wee bit bitter about the demise of their agency. The sour tone is established with the opening lines:

"Is this the ad life? They sing redundancy. Caught in a merger. No escape from reality. This is D'Arcy's demise. Say your goodbyes and flee."

This continues, when a dubious Freddie Mercury impersonator on top of a roof warbles:

"D'Arcy - they killed the name. So the company's gotta fold. All our assets have been sold. D'Arcy - been around for years. Now they've gone and thrown us all away."

However, the most interesting and, of course, unfair lyrics concern the former D'Arcy head honcho John Farrell.

Over a shot of a picture of Farrell, someone sings:

"I'm not a poor boy, I'd lots of equity. Because it's easy cash, easy dough. Make a pile, they won't know."

Displaying a classic above-the-line superiority complex, the D'Arcyans continue:

"I'm not from ad land, nobody loves me. He's not from ad land, he came from IMP. Mailers and promos and shelf wobblies."

Exercising extreme prudence, we've decided not to print the next bit.

Needless to say, Farrell is mentioned again, and not in particularly glowing terms. Nor is his former sidekick Susan Giannino spared the rod ...

"I see a pointy silhouette-a of a witch. What a moose, what a moose. Why did you and John let Mars go?"

As you can see, there's very little love lost there. Though clearly the D'Arcy team's vision has been blurred by frustration.

On an altogether more heart- warming note, Campaign would like to take this opportunity to bid the artist formerly known as D'Arcy a fond farewell.

May its legacy be its music.

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