Stumbling out of bed on Saturday morning, ready for the latest rant about a Third World NHS and how Tony Blair is taking the country to the dogs, Diary could scarcely believe its bleary eyes at what tumbled from its pages as we plucked it from the letter box.
Still, we can't deny our education has been broadened by Easylife, an advertising insert drawing our attention to all kinds of gizmos, from your own private loo to a magnifying glass for your TV screen, that we wonder how we ever did without.
We were quite taken with the smiling blonde on the front cover using her battery-powered ear cleaner. Indeed, our cheque for £14.99 will soon be in the post for the buy one, get one free offer, even though it will be a feat of dexterity to use both at the same time.
On the inside pages, though, the merchandise gets racier. First, there are copulating couples on a trio of Great Sex Over 40 videos. "We must advise you that these videos are extremely explicit with each technique actually demonstrated," the copy warns.
If that doesn't perk you up, how about a penis pump for stronger and larger erections? You can almost hear the cries of ecstasy all over Middle England.