Diary: Even Cannes location can't lend MiP pizazz

If you are still under any illusion that television is a glamorous industry, then get yourself along to the MiP festival in Cannes. The sight of hundreds of desperate stallholders all trying to sell their shiny programme wares to broadcasters bears an uncanny resemblance to the covered market on the Roman Road. A glitzy luvvie-fest it most certainly isn't.

Not that the odd celeb isn't wheeled out to add a bit of sex appeal to proceedings. Glenn Close was rumoured to have been invited but would only come if the organisers would fly out her hairstylist as well. Perhaps she was also put off by the thought of having to carry the delegate bag, which was sponsored by the Shanghai Media and Entertainment Group, and had the word "Smeg" emblazoned in large letters across the front.

Instead, star-spotters had to make do with Carmen Electra, the pouting Baywatch actress, and, erm ... John Nettles, the star of Midsomer Murders.

Among other highlights was a spat between David Cuff and Martin Thomas, from WPP's Nylon. Thomas was on stage arguing against a relaxation of Ofcom rules on product placement. Cuffy took great umbrage at Thomas' pronouncement that the media industry should settle for the status quo and posed the question: "I wonder what Martin's boss - the other Martin - would make of his views?" Ouch.

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