7:30pm We arrive at Heaven to be greeted on the door by a man in a
pink frock. ’Oooh, you’re wearing pink too!’ he screeches, setting the
scene for an evening of camp excess. Making our way into the
labyrinthine venue, we begin our search for Emap sales people.
8:30pm Transvestites totter by on stilts and silver-haired
electro-queens on rollerblades zip across the dancefloor - however,
sales folk fail to emerge.
9:15pm Upstairs in the Psychedelic Bar we lounge on inflatable sofas.
Striking up conversation, we at last find some media types - but they’re
from Channel 5.
10:00pm Our luck is in - we’ve finally found an Emap employee! Alas,
John is not in sales, but he knows a man who is. We arrange a
Ten minutes later, glasses replenished, we’re at the meeting point but
John is lost in the crowds of revellers.
11:00pm Mission abandoned, we console ourselves with vodka and watch a
diminutive strip-act, the Half Monty, revealing all to an appreciative
12:30pm A man in a silver top-hat and black leather thong appears. We
simultaneously flash at one another, me with my camera, he with his
It’s time to leave!