DIARY: Everything you need to survive in Cannes (save the boring bits)

For those of you in Cannes for the week, Bates Worldwide has put together a survival kit in a special metal container wittily called the Cannes can.

For those of you in Cannes for the week, Bates Worldwide has put

together a survival kit in a special metal container wittily called the

Cannes can.



It consists of several items to help you through the annual ad fest.

Such as a notepad containing ‘useful’ Cannes phone numbers for ‘Robert

Floyd, Solicitor’ and the local hospital, as well as ‘unuseful’ numbers

for nearby gyms, libraries and museums.



There’s also a list of handy phrases in French, such as how to say ‘My

bedroom’s got a lovely view of the sunrise’, ‘Your face is really

familiar. Vogue? January edition?’ and ‘Give me your clothes’.



In addition there are stamps, a map of Cannes with highlighted ‘Booze’,

‘Lads’ and ‘Birds’ venues, a pack of Rizlas, three brightly coloured

condoms, an Alka Seltzer, a bunch of makey-uppy receipts to boost your

expenses claims and a helpful inside track on jurors’ interests (with

Alex Taylor from Saatchi and Saatchi UK down for brass rubbing and

macrame).



Perhaps it would have been too square to have included a guide to

lectures, festival events and not-to-be-missed screenings. Because, hey,

it’s not as if anyone’s there for the advertising, is it?



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