Well, apparently not. It would seem that Shearer is, in fact, just a big softie. And his fellow executive creative director, Jim Thornton, is just as bad. And what's more, we have the proof.
Last week, Leo Burnett's creative department held a charity evening, which aimed to raise money for the Macmillan Nurses.
The main event of the evening was an icing competition. Four creative pairings had just four minutes to decorate their cakes in an appropriate manner. The brief, issued by Shearer and Thornton, was to ice the cake with "whatever makes you smile". How adorable.
However, being debauched creatives you can bet the teams took the opportunity to defile their cakes with all manner of smut, filth and foulness. And you'd be right.
One cake had a good old-fashioned pair of tits iced on top, while another had what we are told was a "Polaroid camera photographing a bikini-clad female" drawn on its surface. The third featured a hybrid of a hedgehog and a pigeon (for reasons that we are unable to explain here).
But the wining entry was one that proved that not all creatives are sex-obsessed lunatics. Claudio Pasqualetti and Eugenia Pacelli are clearly in possession of far more innocent minds. The two rather sweetly etched a clown's face on to their cake. Don't you just love them?
The evening, which also included a raffle, raised £1,000 for the Macmillan Nurses. Perhaps even more crucially, it showed Burnett's creative department that their new bosses are really kind-hearted, soppy sods who like nothing better than to see a clown's face delicately iced on to a big dessert.
Campaign's one disappointment was that Burnett's in-house life-long Millwall fans, Mike McKenna and Greg Martin, (aka the tallest creative team in the business), didn't have a crack at the cake-icing themselves. Now that's a picture we'd have love to have seen.