Just where did it all begin, this outbreak of ‘goatee mania’? Some blame
Rainey Kelly Campbell Roalfe for creating the Existentialist Poets
Society for Miller Time. Others blame men’s declining sperm counts for
the rising incidence of baldness, which slapheads then seek to deflect
attention from by growing a goatee.
Whatever, let there be no doubt, adland is gripped by goatee mania, as
we can clearly demonstrate this week. Step forward Tim Hearn of
Dorlands, Ted Heath (yes, really) of O&M, Shaun McIlrath of Impact, Andy
McKay of Simons Palmer, Jonathan Budd and Frank Cappi, both of GGT,
Steve Paskin at Leagas Delaney and Julian Vizard of St Luke’s.
There is no truth in the rumour, however, that Howell Henry’s Dominic
Beardsworth [sic] has any plans to change his name.
Indeed, there are so many troubled young admen (no women, as far as we
know) with goatees that it’s high time they had a support group to
protect them from the cruel jibes of the media. Campaign nominates
Martin Boase as chairman (why not, he’s non-executive chairman of just
about everything else), even though some might say his is more of a
beard than a goatee. But we reckon it’s really a goatee that’s been
neglected for a while.
Meanwhile, here’s one for the Existentialist poets to consider: where do
you put your goatee when you go to sleep? Under or over the duvet?