DIARY: GOATEE SPECIAL; Bald facts behind the the mania that is now sweeping their chins

Just where did it all begin, this outbreak of ‘goatee mania’? Some blame Rainey Kelly Campbell Roalfe for creating the Existentialist Poets Society for Miller Time. Others blame men’s declining sperm counts for the rising incidence of baldness, which slapheads then seek to deflect attention from by growing a goatee.

Just where did it all begin, this outbreak of ‘goatee mania’? Some blame

Rainey Kelly Campbell Roalfe for creating the Existentialist Poets

Society for Miller Time. Others blame men’s declining sperm counts for

the rising incidence of baldness, which slapheads then seek to deflect

attention from by growing a goatee.



Whatever, let there be no doubt, adland is gripped by goatee mania, as

we can clearly demonstrate this week. Step forward Tim Hearn of

Dorlands, Ted Heath (yes, really) of O&M, Shaun McIlrath of Impact, Andy

McKay of Simons Palmer, Jonathan Budd and Frank Cappi, both of GGT,

Steve Paskin at Leagas Delaney and Julian Vizard of St Luke’s.



There is no truth in the rumour, however, that Howell Henry’s Dominic

Beardsworth [sic] has any plans to change his name.



Indeed, there are so many troubled young admen (no women, as far as we

know) with goatees that it’s high time they had a support group to

protect them from the cruel jibes of the media. Campaign nominates

Martin Boase as chairman (why not, he’s non-executive chairman of just

about everything else), even though some might say his is more of a

beard than a goatee. But we reckon it’s really a goatee that’s been

neglected for a while.



Meanwhile, here’s one for the Existentialist poets to consider: where do

you put your goatee when you go to sleep? Under or over the duvet?



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