DIARY: GOATEE SPECIAL; Dreaded Goatee cuts down WCRS staff like lambs to a slaughter

Call them fungus faces, beardo weirdos, or what you will. William Shakespeare had one. Brad Pitt’s got one. And now almost the whole of WCRS - poor lambs - has been stricken with the Dreaded Goatee.

Call them fungus faces, beardo weirdos, or what you will. William

Shakespeare had one. Brad Pitt’s got one. And now almost the whole of

WCRS - poor lambs - has been stricken with the Dreaded Goatee.



It would be kind to say that 15 of the agency’s souls went to bed as

normal and woke up with the affliction. But the Diary feels bound to

reveal that all the players in this ditty did it of their own volition.



Yes folks, into their sad lives came the WCRS 1996 Goatee Challenge, and

out rolled the last vestiges of honour, decency and hirsute standards.

And all because someone (sorry, Gary) looked such a berk with his new

beard that they all wanted to have a go.



Each courageous entrant had two weeks to do his best for the cause,

armed only with endogenous supplies of testosterone and the most

flagrant cheating the Diary has ever seen. First prize in this

department went to the managing director, Stephen Woodford, who sported

a Father Christmas falsie throughout the whole affair, claiming his wife

made him shave the real one off because he looked an idiot. Who are we

to disagree?



Anyway, a glittering, drink-sodden evening ensued, during which a whole

host of people got a whole load of rather silly awards. The senior

planner, Charles Vallence, picked up the prestigious Desperate to be a

Creative bronze arrow for his impressively arty growth (and for wanting

to write all his own scripts). Not far behind was Mark Bernard’s (is it

art or is it advertising?) facial arrangement, which scooped him the

Ultimate Smoothie accolade (a comb).



Simon Toaldo won a beautiful Ultimate Narcissism tiara, and Dan Vivian

the Big Bush (But Looks too Much like Dave Hasselhoff) award. Don’t even

ask. The Diary didn’t.



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