I need to get this off my chest. Car ads. I hate them so much I have
become a complete car-ad bore.
Take that burgeoning soap opera with poor, brainy Catherine and her
legs. Daft bint. Dating a chap who has a jokey, blokey hatchback that
feeds him all his best lines. Then there is the car that thinks it is an
aeroplane. Well let me tell you, I had one that did the same thing - it
The photo shoot with a Volvo in a twister? Okay, if you need a car built
like a shotputter and you’re likely to drive into nature’s finest...but
seriously, how often is that situation going to arise? I’m more
interested if a car cleans up nice after four children and a dog have
spilled yoghurt on the back seat, ground chocolate into the carpets and
deposited damp hairs and saliva on the windows.
I have a grudging affection for the Micra sex, food and bondage ad
because I had a Taurean lover once and they are all driven by sex and
food (and sometimes bondage). But the car’s the wrong colour. That
torrid and passionate owner would have a sleek Italian job, slate grey
or dark blue.
I suppose the commercial with the whale in the Grand Canyon reassures me
about the benefits of global warming, but the product shots at the end
kind of take the edge off it, because it makes it into an overt car ad.
Oh, and the X Files-style one for the VW is nice and interesting. Don’t
even see the product.
But the Aussie who is driving that red car hell-for-leather somewhere
sunny and is trying to play Chuck Berry? Clearly he has taped over his
favourite tracks - would you trust anyone who is such a dork? Nah.
I don’t want to have an image built that will make me feel inadequate
and have to strive to fill the driving seat like the chap in the ad.
I think that there is a lot to be said for a car that one is obviously
superior to. I drive a little Eastern European number. And if Luciano
Favoritti ever spoke to me, it would be in soft Eastern European tones,
possibly marvelling that I had managed to get 92mph out of him yet
But don’t listen to me. I’m the girl who liked the Utterly Butterly
Thank you. I feel much better.