DIARY: I’m only a punter but...

I’m longing to become a copywriter but I can’t understand why, oh why, when society has been all but destroyed, more and more ads want us to interact. Are some agencies attempting to instigate the great rebuilding of society single-handedly? Even though it took the government more than 17 years to do the contrary?

I’m longing to become a copywriter but I can’t understand why, oh why,

when society has been all but destroyed, more and more ads want us to

interact. Are some agencies attempting to instigate the great rebuilding

of society single-handedly? Even though it took the government more than

17 years to do the contrary?



Yes, that’s it. There’s an undercover operation going on here. HHCL -

Hitting Hard the Conservative Label. Presumably, DDB Needham wants us to

assist in this coup d’etat by eating fewer pork pies. I guess the

Saatchis (old and new) want nothing to do with this uprising - disguised

as interaction. Where, I wonder, does Grey stand on this?



I’m all for interaction - in society, with Americans and Germans even,

and in particular I’d love to interact with any of the aforementioned

agencies - but in ads? Oi, interaction? NO!



I find the Martini, McCain Pizza and the Lemon Tango ads fairly

compelling and original. Indeed, there’s little I enjoy more than

watching the ads, in between the rest of the crap, while eating a

heavily topped pizza sipping a Martini and lemon, but there’s no way I’m

going to get off my arse and interact there and then.



And now? It’s Thursday. I finish a swim, pop over to Goodge Street to

pick up a Campaign, calm, relaxed, avoiding any interaction with

tourists or traffic. I flick through a few pages and there it is -

inter-bloody-action.



The next copy test I do, should I entice creative directors to interact

with, say, Easter eggs?



I can see it now - a young mother is having coffee with a friend (her

young daughter is nearby, too young to interact). ‘I got this dreadful

stain on my new wear-on-the-outside corset. I tried and tried but

couldn’t clean it. Finally, I gave it to my mother and guess what? She

got rid of it before I could say Cadbury’s.’ The friend replies, ‘Well,

you can’t teach your grandmother to suck eggs.’



Next scene. The young child hands some Easter eggs to her grandmother:

‘I thought you’d like to suck these, granny.’



Interacting voiceover: ‘What happens next? Does the granny suck the

eggs? Does she sit on them? Or does she break down in tears saying,

‘Arthur, you’ve come back!’ Phone now and find out.’



If this is the future, I’m off to Albania.



Send your rants to Stefano Hatfield, 174 Hammersmith Road, London W6

7JP.



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1 Job description: Digital marketing executive

Digital marketing executives oversee the online marketing strategy for their organisation. They plan and execute digital (including email) marketing campaigns and design, maintain and supply content for the organisation's website(s).