DIARY: McGuinness' erection gives Mildenhall back his misplaced inches

As anyone who knows him will tell you, TBWA/London's managing partner, Jonathan Mildenhall, is a larger-than-life character. You've only to see him prancing around in a sparkly pink stetson on a work night to realise that.

But Mildenhall was elevated to a five-inch-taller-than-normal status last week, when he was erroneously described as being 6ft 4 inches tall in this very magazine. "The only time I can claim six foot four is when I'm in my weekend heels, he professes.

It wasn't long, apparently, before he was being inundated by e-mails pointing out the mistake. "I don't know quite what they were insinuating, Mildenhall says impishly, conceding that he might have added a mere half an inch to his height to "round it up". "But lots of them referred to where, ahem, those extra five inches might be hidden."

Soon, though, Mildenhall was getting a little tired of being the local freak-show and fielding the "fan mail". If that wasn't enough, he'd also had to cope with the erection of an appropriately sized cardboard cut-out of himself in the agency reception, lovingly ordered and installed by none other than the managing director, Andrew McGuinness.

Deciding it was time to set the record straight, Mildenhall dived to his keyboard to tap out an all-staff e-mail protesting at the attention.

And just in case anyone was wondering what all the fuss was about, he left them in no doubt by signing off: "Yours, Jonathan - I really do have a 14-inch cock - Mildenhall."

But some people did more than merely look at Cardboard Man, as Mildenhall found out when he came head-to-head with his doppelganger festooned with hats, a jacket and a bag. "I looked like an extra in the Village People. Have they no taste, he fumed - conveniently forgetting the earlier reference to his penchant for high heels, it seems.


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