DIARY: Mother's festive wraps portray pornographic lesbian dildo session

There's always one. Yes, in Mother's own inimitable way, the agency

decided to oil the yuletide spirit by helpfully sending its favourite

people wrapping paper - with a bit of a difference.



Well, what should we really have expected from the agency whose

Christmas card last year consisted of a groin-thrusting dusky Romeo with

exceedingly tight trousers?



Said paper unveiled a Christmas Carol-esque tale that would have had

Dickens turning in his grave. On it, two vamps, Cassie and Jackie,

unwrap stockings of a far more X-rated kind as they enjoy an uncensored

steamy sesh with their best friend, Mr Dildo, "the biggest dildo Cassie

had ever seen", natch. Less frisky excerpts include: "'Come on baby,

fuck me,' Jackie shouted as she pushed her fingers deeper into her young

friend." Oooh matron.



And just when you think the scorching action can get no hotter, another

feisty young vixen, Linda, arrives to turn up the heat and "watch this

much bigger and older woman on top of her friend pounding away".



Formal introductions of "Nice to meet you ... looks like you're still

hard" aside, the three get into all kinds of buttock-pumping action for

a grand finale of orgasmic proportions which, suffice to say, would

doubtless have had Auntie Doris choking on her sherry as she unwrapped

her Cadbury's Roses during the Queen's speech.



Sadly readers, you can't read the small print reproduced here. Better

get some magnifying glasses. Careful you don't strain your eyes.



Still, is this really the most productive use of creative talent? Well,

Mother's proved it's ahead of the game, and as porn is a big

moneyspinner maybe it's on to something in these recession-hit times ...



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