Is romance dead? The kind of kinkiness that would have Mary
Whitehouse turning purple ruled in this year's NABS' Secret Lovers Week,
which doubtless saw Anne Summers double its yearly sales as agencies all
over town geared up to woo the subjects of their secret fantasies.
Romancing Romeos chose vibrators and pigs in frocks, while Harrison
Troughton Wunderman's head of creative services, Vidhu Kapur, found a
new companion in the buxom form of Sade, the inflatable doll. A naughty
Steve Harrison tied the spread-eagled lady to Kapur's office wall, along
with the alluring message: "Don't keep me hanging around, big boy."
Dan Gieves, also at HTW, connected with his stalker side and sent
feverish memos around the agency warning everyone to stay away from the
object of his affections. Perhaps installing CCTV to keep an eye on his
terrified victim was taking it a tad too far, though.
"Marry me or the bunny gets it!" threatened a cut-out card alongside a
poor Peter Rabbit peering innocently over a saucepan rim in one
And aspiring models at WCRS, clearly not shrinking violets (still, look
at their chairman), got saucy by stripping down to their undies to pose
for an agency calendar. However, the dirty mac brigade with overactive
testosterone glands was kept at bay by a fine imposed on loiterers.
The award for the most romantic - or most under the thumb - man has to
go to Mike Ward at Sky, who was prepared to pay vast amounts to bribe
the right people so that he could pick his girlfriend to woo. Aah.
And although the bods at Sky went fruity by wooing with cream-covered
melons and wind-up penises, perhaps the used condoms might have taken it
just too far.