DIARY: Sing all you like, lads, ye cannae play footie

It’s quite touching how fans of less able football teams try to make up for inherent lack of talent by brow-beating the opposition and generally making lots of ugly noise.

It’s quite touching how fans of less able football teams try to make up

for inherent lack of talent by brow-beating the opposition and generally

making lots of ugly noise.



Last Saturday, in the tense build-up to the England versus Scotland Euro

96 match, Douglas McArthur, the professional Scot at the helm of the

Radio Advertising Bureau, circulated an internal memo to ‘the confused

English supporters’, teaching them the words to the Scots anthem, Flower

of Scotland.



Having secured an invite to the match from Capital Radio, he then mailed

all fellow guests the same song sheet.



Upon arrival at Wembley, he once again dished out copies of the anthem’s

lyrics to his nonplussed hosts and administered a lorry load of tartan

badges bearing the slogan, ‘There are two kinds of people - people who

are Scottish...and people who wish they were Scottish’.



In the interest of balance, we have issued a similar, perhaps less

poetic, circular featuring other equally memorable lines. It goes

something like: ‘Come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough’ and

‘2-0, 2-0, 2-0, 2-0’.