Diary: Want some music for the Hitler in your life? Then goose-step to it!

Christmas may be more than nine months away but now's the time to start thinking about a few jackboot-fillers for all those would-be world conquerors around adland.

For assistance, you need look no further than the DD Video 2004 CD and DVD catalogue, which dropped through the letterbox along with our morning papers at the weekend.

Besides the complete Inspector Morse collection (a snip at just £99.99), there are a few advertised items guaranteed to jerk a nostalgic tear in many a Uruguayan beer hall or fire up a BNP rally.

For starters, may we recommend the Music of the Luftwaffe, brought to you by the band of the General Gorig Regiment. Or how about 14 fighting and marching songs by the Hitler Youth?

For a mere £69.99, you can sing along to the Military Music of Adolf Hitler's Third Reich - a six-CD collection featuring more than four hours-worth of goose-stepping showstoppers. There's even a collection of 11 different SS bugle calls. Just the thing if you need to be up early to invade France.

But, for the real connoisseur, there's surely nothing to match Die Waffen-SS Alte Kameraden Singen! This turns out to be "a selection of tracks performed by Old Comrades of the Waffen SS". The Waffen SS were total Hitler loyalists with a less than chivalrous war record, so it's hard to imagine any of these old comrades enjoying a pint down the British Legion.

Sorry, but we have decided to spend our money on something a bit more politically correct - such as the hits of the Black and White Minstrels.

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