DIARY: ZenithOptimedia girls give their CVs a quick makeover with GMTV

There's something about hard times that makes everyone start laying the groundwork for an emergency alternative career. After all, you never know these days when you'll be forced to quit your day job.

History is littered with examples of this. Take David Mellor, who started cropping up on chat shows and radio shortly before he was booted out of his constituency. Or Vinny Jones, who turned to acting when he realised that centre-forwards were beginning to get the better of him. And let's not forget Piers Morgan.

Perhaps a more pedestrian example of this can be found at ZenithOptimedia, where four female members of staff have taken to helping out Lorraine Kelly on GMTV. Not that we're suggesting that their days in media are numbered. But the pressures of working for Anthony "how can we be more efficient" Young have clearly got to them. If appearing on morning TV is the only way to get some respite, then so be it.

The quartet of employees in question were Maria Haines (the head of creative services), Sarah Thain (the marketing manager), Beth Parsons (the PA to Gerry Boyle) and Harp Mander (the receptionist), who spent Monday to Thursday chatting to our Lorraine about the relative benefits of various cosmetic products (we don't know what happened on the Friday). The hot topics on the debating table were firming cream, fake tanning lotion, summer make-up and hair remover.

And, needless to say, it was all pretty scintillating stuff. For instance, did you know that fake tan should only be applied to an exfoliated and well-moisturised foot?

And did you know that TV's Patsy Palmer (Bianca from EastEnders) has created a tanning lotion for people who, like her, are too dangerously ginger to laze in the sun? No, us neither.

The studio segments are interspersed with footage of the four women lounging around at a health spa, testing out the relevant products. This snippet of conversation provides an insight into how they decided to spend their days there:

"Now, who wants to go on a pedlo?"

"But my mascara will run."

"Let's play some volleyball."

"Oh no, I'll get sweaty."

"OK, let's go sunbathing."

"I can't - I haven't got any sunscreen."

"I know what we need to do. Let's test some make-up!"

Christ. It's a hard life, isn't it?

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