Media: Double Standards - From fear of man bags to getting rock-hard abs

The editors of the men's monthlies Maxim and FHM on live monkeys in the office, why magazines for pets would be a good idea and the sexuality of GQ's readership.

GREG GUTFELD - editor, Maxim

What's the most controversial Back at Men's Health in 1995, I wrote

thing you've done in your the coverline: "Six Steps to Rock Hard

editing career? Abs." The thing is, at the time there

were only five.

What's the most glamorous I get free magazines in the mail such

thing about your job? as GQ. The latest one was "guest

edited by Giorgio Armani". That's

really cool when your mag can actually

be edited by a fashion designer.

I read the issue, and it reminded me

of a pastel cardigan with an

unassuming, but elegant, cut. I

decided to wear the magazine with a

pair of red crocodile-style loafers.

Do you think the men's I believe the weeklies will continue

weeklies will continue to to sell copies. I also believe Maxim

affect the sales of Maxim, will also sell copies. This will go on

Loaded and FHM in the next for a number of years. Perhaps

ABCs? decades, even. And then, of course, we

will all die.

Is there still scope for We are doing it right now. It's a

innovation as huge as the men's magazine with brains and balls.

weeklies launch in the men's But beyond that I would like to see

market and what do you predict any magazine that's actually funny,

it could be? honest and smart. Consider the "wacky

face", which lads' mag editors do

whenever they're photographed doing

something "wacky". It shows the gulf

between what an editor thinks is funny

and what really is funny.

And the gulf is so vast you could

drive a large truck full of other

medium-sized trucks through it. And

those medium-sized trucks? They would

be full of smaller trucks crammed full

of wooden Russian dolls. But I think

the next big thing will be men's

dailies ... they could have stuff in

them about how stupid Bush is and how

many millions of Iraqis he has killed,

along with pictures of topless chicks,

punters and prostitutes. They could

give them stupid, inscrutable titles

like Mirror or Sun.

What's your greatest fear? That it will come back, but this time

completely shaved.

Which other magazine market do Mags for pets. Not mags about pets.

you think has the most But mags for pets, that are actually

potential at the moment? read by the pets themselves. The mag

should have really short headlines

with big colourful pictures that are

simple enough for a ferret to

understand. I would call it Pick Me Up

magazine.

If you hadn't gone into I would have been given a job in the

publishing, what would you laundry, or perhaps in the kitchen,

have done? but my passion is the literacy

programme.

What other magazine would you I would like to edit Campaign. And

like to edit? profile editors and ask them questions

like: "What other magazine would you

like to edit?" And they would answer:

"I would like to edit Campaign." And

this cycle of questioning would

continue forever and ever.

Do you think GQ's readership Yes. When you look at the other

and editorial product really stridently homosexual magazines like

are a cut above its Attitude, Arena or AXM, you have to

competitors? admit GQ is different, in that it

doesn't begin with the letter "A".

Anyway, Dylan Jones is my role model.

His skin is made of circular patches

of tennis-ball felt.

"A spongy comfort that is a classic in

the making". You can quote me on that.

What's your mantra? My mantra is: "Mantras suck."

ROSS BROWN - editor, FHM

What's the most controversial You're not allowed live

thing you've done in your monkeys in the office. Yes, it

editing career? may prove a point, but it's

also a legal minefield with

horrific long-term

consequences.

What's the most glamorous Working above a cafe. The pool

thing about your job? table. Cold beer on Fridays.

Mainly the cafe.

Do you think the men's Undoubtedly, but with mixed

weeklies will continue to results. Zoo and Nuts have

affect the sales of Maxim, hurt Loaded - Maxim must

Loaded and FHM in the next surely pass them now, but

ABCs? FHM's real challenge will come

with a third credible

weekly.

Is there still scope for Weekly sport-led title. Let's

innovation as huge as the call it Bench. Christ, this

weeklies launch in the men's idea is worse than the

market and what do you predict monkey.

it could be?

What's your greatest fear? Man bags.

Which other magazine market do The top shelf appears to be in

you think has the most the doldrums at the moment -

potential at the moment? my hedge is heaving with tired

old 80s titles.

If you hadn't gone into Airport fireman. Ever seen a

publishing, what would you fire in an airport? Ever seen

have done? a plane on fire? It's the

easiest gig in the world.

What other magazine would you American Maxim.

like to edit?

Do you think GQ's readership Yes, all of GQ's 12 gay

and editorial product really readers are a cut above the

are a cut above its rest.

competitors?

What's your mantra? "They knew the risks."