Tits! Get tits on the cover. Lots of 'em. It's an old trick, but it
Ice, a new effort from the hairdresser-turned-publisher James Kimber,
likes this trick - a lot. But what else would you expect from Kimber
who, after making a good fist of a hair and beauty title, bought
Kimber clearly likes his tits (not his own tits, you understand. You
know what I mean ...).
First impressions. Billed as a competitor to Cabal's Front, the magazine
looks cheap and cheerful. This is surprising as the first issue will set
you back three quid - no introductory offer or special price in sight.
Front launched with a knockdown cover charge and a free 3D poster of a
scantily clad woman. Now I could have been sent an advanced copy, but
there are a number of glaring production errors. When you're asking a
bloke to part with 300 of Her Majesty's finest pennies, you ought to at
least make sure that you don't put white text over a photo with large
bits of white in it, thus rendering the copy unreadable.
The magazine simply doesn't feel like it's worth the cash.
Contents. The art of flirting, a piece on the benefits cannabis can have
on your sex life (titled "Blow job"), girlfriend of the month, a "how to
be dynamite in bed" supplement (that notably lacks a sponsor), all
topped off with some naughty pics of the inaugural cover girl, Kathy
Lloyd. Usual fare, nothing new here.
Closer inspection. The writing isn't - how shall I put it? -
The editor's letter reassures me that if I like girls, want to get on
better with girls and, interestingly, if I'm into "the plain weird", I'm
in the right place.
I really don't need to be given crap advice on how to flirt. "Keep eye
contact" - er ... thanks. I'm already crap at flirting and if I took
Ice's advice I think I'd never get lucky again.
Apart from the disappointing features, there are some gems in here if
you are patient and willing to wade through the dross. The horoscope
section is hilarious. Apparently, on the 19th, if I go to the doctors,
I'm going to meet a very horny nurse. Campaign's John Tylee, meanwhile,
is supposedly going to get dumped by his wife for a "b-list shag".
Worryingly, ads look a bit thin on the ground and the ones that are
there include a PVC retailer and a "gentlemen's club". Classy.
Conclusion. A poor start but some glimmers of hope. It will need to pull
its finger out, so to speak, or it's going to die a very quick
Definitely one for those too embarrassed to reach for the top shelf - I
have never seen a men's lifestyle title look so much like a copy of
Penthouse. That Kimber, he's a card, eh?
Publisher: Ice Publishing
Initial print run: 200,000
Full-page ad rate: £2,950
Advertisers include: Slendertone, Lotus, eBay.com, Spearmint Rhino