PRIVATE VIEW: Jonathan Burley is the creative director at HHCL/Red Cell

Those fuckers at Campaign are out to get me, I reckon. You see, I wanted to be all warm and smiley and deeply, profoundly empathetic with my first Private View, like an advertising version of the Lovely Princess Di without the steering-wheel tiara. There are enough people to hate me without adding other ad agencies to the list.

And then Campaign sent me these.

First out of the happy sack is McDonald's "I'm Lovin' It". I'm sure you've all seen this by now, the world's most expensive mood tape, trying to act all street by dropping the "G" in the strapline and looking instead as uncomfortable and unstreet as an aged creative director in a Puffa jacket. It is truly horrible, global advertising wearing its most unappetising face, and I'm Fuckin' Hatin' It, to use the McD vernacular.

What next? Ah, bollocks. The Economist. Now, I know that to diss the AMV massif (sorry, stuck in McD Street Jive) is to bring down the wrath of Mr Souter, but I really cannot abide Economist posters. Maybe ten years ago I was faintly impressed by the confident, witty puns that made this poster campaign so justly famous in the 90s. But this is a decade on. And still the weary lines creak their way from the gleaming halls of Marylebone Road and on to the poster sites. Surely there is more insight and wit to be had for a brand as great as The Economist than slapping "Better than botox for furrowed brows" on to a red background and hoping it'll do? Sorry, Peter, I'm sure they will win lots of awards.

Next up, the new Renault Scenic TV spot. It is a very nicely shot television commercial for a car.

Now, then. A poster for The Priory, where all the rich people go to get over their prohibitively expensive addictions. Which basically means it is one of them there charity ads. It seems that creatives approach briefs like this in one of two ways: they either use the medium to provoke and inform, properly addressing the problem under discussion and getting people to do something about it, or they write ads to dazzle sentimental awards juries. This particular example falls uncomfortably between the two stools, and twists its ankle really badly.

In the new M&S ad, we watch various ad people ponce about as they talk/sing to the tune of That's Amore about the joys of owning an M&S credit card, and what they can spunk their reward points on (... sushi rolls, faux-fur throws and Swiss cheese with holes ...), like an achingly middle-class version of The Streets doing a cover of a Dean Martin song. I feel weary after watching it.

And finally. Out of my Campaign-sent jiffy-bag a sad, battered-looking VHS with a hastily scrawled label on it that (alarmingly, after all the ghastly nonsense I've just been reviewing) reads "VW Bollocks".

And the ad is delightful - beautifully cast and deftly directed, classic BMP "elegant rug-pull" stuff. We see a little girl tumbling her way through life, muttering "bollocks" to herself every time she screws up, until we reveal that she's only copying Dad's expressive vocabulary as he keeps on bollocksing-up by filling his new VW diesel with four star. It makes me smile, and I wish I'd done it, and I'd like to thank BMP for leaving me in the roseate glow of some truly lovely advertising.

I am suffused with Light and Love and Happiness again.

THE PRIORY

Project: Priory Group

Client: Mark Beadle, chief operating officer

Brief: Launch new range of addiction treatments provided at Priory

hospitals nationwide

Agency: Branded

Writer: James Moody

Art directors: Kerr/Noble

Typographers: Kerr/Noble

Exposure: National press

M&S

Project: & More

Client: Nick Bowyer, head of marketing, M&S Money

Brief: Generate excitement around the launch of & More, M&S's new reward

credit card

Agency: RKCR/Y&R

Writer: Pip Bishop

Art director: Chris Hodgkiss

Director: Carl Prechezer

Production company: 2am film

Exposure: National TV

MCDONALD'S

Project: Brand launch

Client: n/s

Brief: Revitalise worldwide marketing at the Golden Arches

Agency: Heye & Partner

Writer: Andreas Forberger

Art director: Markus Lange

Director: James Brown

Production company: Stink

Exposure: Global

THE ECONOMIST

Project: The Economist

Client: Jacqui Kean, marketing manager

Brief: The Economist helps you stay one step ahead

Agency: Abbott Mead Vickers BBDO

Writers: Diane Leaver ("botox"), Andy McAnaney ("meeting of minds")

Art directors: Simon Rice ("botox"), Christian Sewell ("meeting of

minds")

Typographer: John Tisdall

Exposure: National posters

RENAULT

Project: Renault Scenic "park the TV"

Client: Chris White, manager, communications marketing

Brief: Scenic as a catalyst for activity

Agency: Publicis

Writer: Adam Kean

Art director: Alex Taylor

Director: Joe Public

Production company: Partizan

Exposure: National and satellite TV

VOLKSWAGEN

Project: VW "bollocks"

Client: Alan Doyle, communications manager, big cars

Brief: Illustrate that VW diesels are as good as petrol engines

Agency: BMP DDB

Writers: Dan Hubert, Amber Casey

Art directors: Dan Hubert, Amber Casey

Director: Jackie Oudney

Production company: Bliss Films

Exposure: Viral

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