PRIVATE VIEW: Leon Jaume, the executive creative director at WCRS

Pre-Homer, the greatest cartoon character was the Roadrunner-chaser extraordinaire, Wile E Coyote. His essence was captured in the aftermath of another failed attempt at bird-crushing. A pile of rocks wedged between cliffs above the road stayed wedged long after the "beep beep" had faded away. Aggrieved, Wile stands beneath the jammed rocks and starts trying to free them with a long pole. They begin to ease. Small fragments fall about his ears. He prods on. Suddenly, he looks straight at us, his face a combination of alarm and resignation, and whips out a small sign on a stick. We read "What in heaven's name am I doing?" a nanosecond before he's obliterated by crashing stone.

Now, I can't help feeling someone involved in the new McDonald's ad must have toyed with such a sign during the making of its airport extravaganza.

An airport? I've been punched repeatedly by a woman at an airport. I've had a gun pulled on me in an airport. Airports are heavy with fear, loss, disappointment and unfeasible Toblerone. And, to be fair, McDonald's doesn't shrink from this. Beneath the jolly veneer of lissom stewardesses lurk all the usual horrors: psychotic baggage truck drivers, uncrossable lines of school children and patronising check-in staff wearing Eddie Izzard's make-up. The hero isn't even going in - he's frog-marched through the doors by the trolley dollies. And all this to tell us that there are a few things on offer for a quid this week. Finally, our man's bundled out of the door, looking as baffled as we are, and he's in Alaska. What in heaven's name is going on?

No such mysteries bewitch us in the Home Office's recruitment ad for special constables.

Instead of the nation's heroes telling us they couldn't stomach a job in the force, a rather awkward copper tells us he couldn't cope with the two jobs a special does. It's, well, that, really.

Direct Line has produced another ad with the breezy, devil-may-care that can cram a whole brief into 30 seconds of nonsense while raising sales and goading columns like this. I have never met the boss of Direct Line, but I suspect he shares the views of the chief executive of another "bad" advertiser who recently told our chairman that it was odd, but the agency people who were most sniffy about his ads always seemed to have so many fewer Bentleys and helicopters than he did.

The most under-rated copywriter's art is the ability to write those snappy lines on film posters which sum up a movie in a phrase and make you want to go. For Dirty Harry, it was: "You don't assign Harry Callaghan to a murder case, you turn him loose." The trails for the new BBC1 series, Hustle, show how easy it isn't with stuff such as: "Albert, he'll show you the bait and once you're hooked he'll reel you in."

It's a relief to encounter more vigorous prose, such as "Cauliflower-like lumps on your anus", in the mock Valentine's Day cards for the Department of Health aimed at improving the sexual health of our youth. The campaign is delivered with well-judged humour and is up there with the recent fat-clogged arteries anti-smoking ad as an outstanding attempt to reach the unreachable audience.

Finally, and with wretched coincidence, I unwrapped the press ads written to raise money for the Marie Curie nurses. They feature people dying of cancer, surrounded by their family and friends, a month after my dear old father did just that. What can I say but I hope they work, and I miss him.

DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH

Project: Adult Sexual Health

Client: Karen Gregory, senior marketing communications manager

Brief: Exploit the tactical opportunity of Valentine's Day to make young

adults aware of the risks of STIs and encourage condom usage

Agency: Delaney Lund Knox Warren & Partners

Writer: Jon Elsom

Art director: Ken Sara

Typographers: Andy Dymock, Guy Sexty

Photographer: Paul Bevitt

Exposure: National press, washroom posters

DIRECT LINE

Project: Brand campaign

Clients: Jim Wallace, retail marketing director; Guy Hedger, marketing

manager (motor)

Brief: Make Direct Line the number-one front-of-mind brand when getting

an insurance quote

Agency: Mortimer Whittaker O'Sullivan

Writer: Leigh Wallace

Art director: Neale Horrigan

Director: Gerald McMorrow

Production company: Tomboy Films

Exposure: National TV

HOME OFFICE

Project: Police recruitment

Client: Malcolm Lemmer, senior campaign manager, COI Communications

Brief: Drive recruitment of special constables and make the public

respect the job they do

Agency: M&C Saatchi

Writer: Simon Dicketts

Art director: Fergus Flemming

Director: Malcolm Venville

Production company: Therapy Films

Exposure: National TV

MARIE CURIE CANCER CARE

Project: "Home"

Client: Chris Dainty, director of PR and marketing

Brief: Support the charity's biggest fundraising period of the year

Agency: Maher Bird Associates

Writer: Simon Davenport

Art director: Martin Pierson

Typographer: James Edwards

Photographer: Enda Bowe

Exposure: National press

MCDONALD'S

Project: Pound Saver Menu launch

Client: Nathalie Bar, brand manager

Brief: Relaunch the McDonald's value-for-money menu

Agency: Leo Burnett

Writers: Angus Macadam, Paul Jordan, Trevor Webb

Art directors: Angus Macadam, Paul Jordan, Trevor Webb

Director: Paul Hunter

Production company: Exposure Films

Exposure: National TV

BBC

Project: Hustle

Client: Christine Madden, head of marketing, BBC1

Brief: Get people to make an appointment to view Hustle, a new six-part

drama on BBC1

Agency: Abbott Mead Vickers BBDO

Writer: Derek Apps

Art director: Tom Notman

Director: Ron Scapello

Production company: The Moving Picture Company

Exposure: BBC

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1 Job description: Digital marketing executive

Digital marketing executives oversee the online marketing strategy for their organisation. They plan and execute digital (including email) marketing campaigns and design, maintain and supply content for the organisation's website(s).