Private View: Mark Wnek is on holiday

Slim Fast's campaign consists of challenges from supposedly attractive foreign women to British women regarding the latter's allegedly less-than-svelte appearance in bikinis. The ads direct the reader to Slim Fast's Let's-Bikini plan with the slogan: "We'll fight them on the beaches." Another shot fired in the seemingly relentless campaign to make women feel bad about their bodies. Unedifying stuff. Even before you get round to the vomit-like art direction.

Talk Talk, on the other hand, is classy stuff. Mr Dunstone's latest fixed-line wheeze is a brilliant one: free calls to people in your own network.

The advertising execution is a typical Inge idea, lateral and direct all at once. The guys putting money in their personalised tins while talking is charmingly realised.

The Australian Tourist Commission spot was Francesca Newland's Turkey of the Week in Campaign two weeks ago. Very unfairly so. This spot, like all of them in this campaign, is an evocative travelogue that lifts itself above the norm of the genre by the almost palpable love, care and affection that has gone in to it. This is the kind of work that passes unnoticed in the bars of adland but produces goosepimples among the real people it is aimed at. My advice to the creators is not to lose too much sleep over Ms Newland's playing to the adland in-crowd. I never have and it hasn't stopped my clients and me becoming rich and famous.

Also in this week's pile is a spot for Renault with vaguely diverting footage of people's faces affected by G-forces and then a line about Renault and Formula One or something. Waste of money.

Finally, not least for the careers of all those concerned, is a veritable traffic accident, nay motorway pile-up, of a commercial, in which an ultra-cheesy Vernon Kaye lurks behind a sofa (!?) observing a teenage couple sitting at either end sulkily (possibly eating Doritos, my disturbed mind doesn't quite recall).

The girl confesses to the boy that she has been shagging some Brazilian bloke while on their holiday in Rio. He confesses to her that he has been shagging the bloke's girlfriend. Throughout this contrived, wooden exchange, we cut to Kaye mugging punchably to camera at what we are supposed to think are the outrageous, hilarious revelations on the sofa.

Next, the Brazilian boy and girl, who were the subjects of the discussion, emerge semi-clad, well, out of the sofa. No, really, they emerge out of the sofa in between the sulky couple. By this point, Vernon is having an epi. Which is nothing compared with his excitement when a whole load of other people (part of the Rio carnival, apparently) also begin to emerge out of the sofa. Yes, that's right, out of the sofa. It's Plan Nine From Outer Space meets the "ambassador's party". What any of this has to do with selling crisps is anyone's guess. What any of it has to do with entertainment is an altogether harder question.

AUSTRALIAN TOURIST COMMISSION

Project: n/s

Client: n/s

Brief: n/s

Agency: Whybin\TBWA

Writer: Andy Lish

Art director: Andy Lish

Director: David Denneen

Production company: Filmgraphics Productions

Exposure: Global TV

WALKERS

Project: Doritos Latinos

Client: Jon Goldstone, marketing director

Brief: Launch the range of Latin-inspired flavours and dips

Agency: Abbott Mead Vickers BBDO

Writer: Peter Souter

Art director: Peter Souter

Director: Paul Weiland

Production company: The Paul Weiland Film Company

Exposure: National TV

TALK TALK

Project: Talk Talk relaunch

Client: Tristia Clarke, head of marketing

Brief: Relaunch Talk Talk as the people's phone company where all

customers can talk to each other for free

Agency: Clemmow Hornby Inge

Writer: Charles Inge

Art director: Charles Inge

Director: Martin Granger

Production company: Bikini Films

Exposure: National TV

RENAULT

Project: Renault Formula One team "feel it"

Client: Christian Barluet, advertising director

Brief: Raise awareness of Renault in Formula One

Agency: Publicis

Writer: Gavin Kellett

Art director: Nik Studzinski

Director: Andrew Douglas

Production company: Anonymous Content

Exposure: National and international TV

SLIM FAST

Project: Let's-Bikini

Client: Emma Woods, European marketing director

Brief: n/s

Agency: Grey London

Writers: Pablo Monzon, Ross Fowler

Art directors: Elvio Sanchez, Nicola Hawes

Typographer: Christian Tunstall

Exposure: Press, six-sheet posters, in-store, internet

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1 Job description: Digital marketing executive

Digital marketing executives oversee the online marketing strategy for their organisation. They plan and execute digital (including email) marketing campaigns and design, maintain and supply content for the organisation's website(s).