PRIVATE VIEW: Matt Eastwood, the creative director at M&C Saatchi

As this is my first Private View, I really wanted to make a good impression. But sadly, as I opened the envelope, it was obvious that fate was against me. Nothing but telecommunications and bank campaigns. Phone company advertising has to be one of the biggest disappointments of our time. Take the new Vodafone campaign for picture messaging. The one where the cute girl sends the cute guy a photo of a coffee cup in order to invite him around for "coffee".

Or the other one where the cute guy sends the cute girl a photo of beans on toast shaped into a love heart to wish her Happy Valentine's. The question is not "are these ads lame?" The real question is "are young people really that lame?" These ads feel like out-takes from Coronation Street. How are you? Disappointed.

Sadly, the new 3 film doesn't get any better. It's no secret to anyone who knows me that I am a very early adopter of new technology. Just mention a phone with a built-in camera, a camera with a built-in phone or a shoe with built-in phone and camera and I'm there. But the 3G film failed to excite even me. This technology is amazing stuff. Orange's new "muck about" campaign is the only one that comes even close to getting me excited about the service. The 3G film finishes with the guy saying: "For a minute there, it looked like you were smashing your phone up." Well, you would, wouldn't you?

The Liverpool Victoria campaign features three films that all talk about sharing. Or, more accurately, not sharing. The "check-out chick" (that's Australian for cashier) who takes a bite out of everything she scans is definitely funny. Is it funny enough to share the spotlight alongside the very best work at D&AD or BTAA? Most definitely not. But then, you wouldn't share everything, would you?

Citibank's "dancing dog" film is next on my list (why all the bank ads? It just doesn't seem fair). Films with animals doing clever things seem like such an easy way out. "I know, let's show a dog playing a piano" or "a bunch of dogs spinning tunes and eating Pringles". It all seems a bit easy.

Although, according to the "making of ..." video that accompanied the film, it was anything but. Days of casting, weeks of training, months of post-production. Tragically, even after all that work, it's still a dog.

Don't get me wrong, I've worked on banks for the past six years (ANZ in Australia and NatWest here) so I know how tough they can be. That's why I really applaud Virgin's The One Account "Hector's House" campaign. This is a really difficult product. This campaign not only makes it easy to understand, it makes it enjoyable. I found myself smiling as I waited for the next story to unfold. Who's a clever Hector?

I really need a beer after all that. And along comes the new Stella Artois film. Ahhh. It features a great cast: Vince Squibb, Jonathan Glazer, Dan Landin, Anne Dudley. And, as always, the look is reassuringly expensive.

For what it's worth, I wouldn't mind seeing the 60-second version. However, I raise my glass. As I'm sure I will again come awards time. Cheers.

VIRGIN

Project: The One Account

Client: Colin Woodcock, marketing director

Brief: Demonstrate the benefits of financial freedom

Agency: TBWA/London

Writer: Alasdair Graham

Art director: Frazer Jelleyman

Director: Daniel Kleinman

Production company: Spectre

Exposure: National TV

LIVERPOOL VICTORIA

Project: Brand launch

Client: David Radford, head of brand communications

Brief: Dramatise the core benefit of Liverpool Victoria's mutual status;

you're better off with no shareholders

Agency: Clemmow Hornby Inge

Writer: Laurie Smith

Art director: Matt Pam

Director: David Hartley

Production company: Brave

Exposure: Regional TV

VODAFONE

Project: "Coffee", "Valentine"

Client: n/s

Brief: Highlight the human ways in which Vodafone Live! enhances the way

we communicate

Agency: J. Walter Thompson

Writer: Ken Muir

Art director: Ray Howard

Directors: The Guard Brothers

Production company: Rogue Films

Exposure: National TV

CITIBANK

Project: "Live richly" campaign

Client: Sanjeeb Chaudhuri, head of marketing, western Europe

Brief: Deliver a non-banklike creative expression of Citibank's global

brand positioning

Agency: Fallon London

Writer: Dave Masterman

Art director: Ed Edwards

Director: Lenny Dorfman

Production company: @radical.media

Exposure: Pan-European TV

HUTCHISON

Project: 3G

Client: Lisa Gernon, strategy and marketing director

Brief: Show the benefits of 3's unique live video calling service

Agency: TBWA/London

Writers: Ben Priest and Simon Hardy

Art directors: Brian Campbell and Steve Williams

Director: Trevor Robinson

Production company: Quiet Storm

Exposure: London TV

INTERBREW

Project: Stella Artois

Client: Karen Waring, marketing manager

Brief: Continue to position Stella Artois as the gold standard for lager

Agency: Lowe

Writer: Vince Squibb

Art director: Vince Squibb

Director: Jonathan Glazer

Production company: Academy

Exposure: National TV and cinema