Or the other one where the cute guy sends the cute girl a photo of beans on toast shaped into a love heart to wish her Happy Valentine's. The question is not "are these ads lame?" The real question is "are young people really that lame?" These ads feel like out-takes from Coronation Street. How are you? Disappointed.
Sadly, the new 3 film doesn't get any better. It's no secret to anyone who knows me that I am a very early adopter of new technology. Just mention a phone with a built-in camera, a camera with a built-in phone or a shoe with built-in phone and camera and I'm there. But the 3G film failed to excite even me. This technology is amazing stuff. Orange's new "muck about" campaign is the only one that comes even close to getting me excited about the service. The 3G film finishes with the guy saying: "For a minute there, it looked like you were smashing your phone up." Well, you would, wouldn't you?
The Liverpool Victoria campaign features three films that all talk about sharing. Or, more accurately, not sharing. The "check-out chick" (that's Australian for cashier) who takes a bite out of everything she scans is definitely funny. Is it funny enough to share the spotlight alongside the very best work at D&AD or BTAA? Most definitely not. But then, you wouldn't share everything, would you?
Citibank's "dancing dog" film is next on my list (why all the bank ads? It just doesn't seem fair). Films with animals doing clever things seem like such an easy way out. "I know, let's show a dog playing a piano" or "a bunch of dogs spinning tunes and eating Pringles". It all seems a bit easy.
Although, according to the "making of ..." video that accompanied the film, it was anything but. Days of casting, weeks of training, months of post-production. Tragically, even after all that work, it's still a dog.
Don't get me wrong, I've worked on banks for the past six years (ANZ in Australia and NatWest here) so I know how tough they can be. That's why I really applaud Virgin's The One Account "Hector's House" campaign. This is a really difficult product. This campaign not only makes it easy to understand, it makes it enjoyable. I found myself smiling as I waited for the next story to unfold. Who's a clever Hector?
I really need a beer after all that. And along comes the new Stella Artois film. Ahhh. It features a great cast: Vince Squibb, Jonathan Glazer, Dan Landin, Anne Dudley. And, as always, the look is reassuringly expensive.
For what it's worth, I wouldn't mind seeing the 60-second version. However, I raise my glass. As I'm sure I will again come awards time. Cheers.
Project: The One Account
Client: Colin Woodcock, marketing director
Brief: Demonstrate the benefits of financial freedom
Writer: Alasdair Graham
Art director: Frazer Jelleyman
Director: Daniel Kleinman
Production company: Spectre
Exposure: National TV
Project: Brand launch
Client: David Radford, head of brand communications
Brief: Dramatise the core benefit of Liverpool Victoria's mutual status;
you're better off with no shareholders
Agency: Clemmow Hornby Inge
Writer: Laurie Smith
Art director: Matt Pam
Director: David Hartley
Production company: Brave
Exposure: Regional TV
Project: "Coffee", "Valentine"
Brief: Highlight the human ways in which Vodafone Live! enhances the way
Agency: J. Walter Thompson
Writer: Ken Muir
Art director: Ray Howard
Directors: The Guard Brothers
Production company: Rogue Films
Exposure: National TV
Project: "Live richly" campaign
Client: Sanjeeb Chaudhuri, head of marketing, western Europe
Brief: Deliver a non-banklike creative expression of Citibank's global
Agency: Fallon London
Writer: Dave Masterman
Art director: Ed Edwards
Director: Lenny Dorfman
Production company: @radical.media
Exposure: Pan-European TV
Client: Lisa Gernon, strategy and marketing director
Brief: Show the benefits of 3's unique live video calling service
Writers: Ben Priest and Simon Hardy
Art directors: Brian Campbell and Steve Williams
Director: Trevor Robinson
Production company: Quiet Storm
Exposure: London TV
Project: Stella Artois
Client: Karen Waring, marketing manager
Brief: Continue to position Stella Artois as the gold standard for lager
Writer: Vince Squibb
Art director: Vince Squibb
Director: Jonathan Glazer
Production company: Academy
Exposure: National TV and cinema