Doing Private View is a bit like eating Revels. Six flavours - trouble is you dip into the bag not knowing if you're going to pull out something you like or something you don't.
Pork Farms - caramel, definitely caramel. What is at first a believable real life drama features a mother who, while preparing a meal, discovers an empty Pork Farms pork pie wrapper and enquires of her husband and son who is the guilty party.
The idea is that not only do both of them own up but pretty much everyone else in the neighbourhood also. I'm sure the Pork Farms client likes the idea of everyone eating his pies and I quite like it too. It's just a shame that the realness of the ad gives way to an "addy" screeching camera technique in order to make the point. Caramel Revels are OK but I'm not mad about them.
Mini Jammie Dodgers. Peanut, I'm afraid. And I don't like peanut. What we see is lots of children diving into or being smothered in jam. I know the wackiness is aimed at a young target audience but I can't help feeling it's a little gratuitous and that there must be something better out there.
COI Communications' Adult Basic Skills. The issues being dealt with here are adult literacy and numeracy. In each of three commercials, an adult facing the embarrassment of being exposed as either illiterate or innumerate, is then taunted by a gremlin (portrayed by an actor in make-up and costume). At the conclusion of each commercial we are then invited to "get rid of our gremlins by telephoning.
What strikes me most is that the unsympathetic tone of the commercials is unlikely to persuade the target audience that sympathy is what they'll receive if they do pick up the phone. Certainly, I would have thought that the seriousness of the subject matter demanded less frivolous treatment.
So, another peanut Revel.
Where COI employs gremlins, Sprite employs a gremlin-like sprite. The very thin idea in each poster is that this sprite can't do anything about your thirst whereas a bottle of Sprite can.
I feel a little aggrieved to be chewing on peanut again, but full marks at least for the double entendre in the "beach execution where alongside a picture of two beauties sunbathing on a beach, sits the legend: "This sprite won't go down well at the beach. All that sand, I imagine.
Scotrail is a bit of a mystery to me. This TV campaign features people who have learned to perform amazing tricks.
But have they done so with the time they've saved by travelling on Scotrail or with the time they've actually spent on Scotrail? The line "Scotrail. Time well spent leaves me no clearer. I suppose you could say that I'm enjoying the chocolate coating but I'm unsure what the centre is.
One more in the bag and a press campaign for Audi that simply dramatises its claim that every approved used Audi in the UK is on the Audi used car website with aerial photographs of different UK locations. And that's the point, isn't it? This campaign may not make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. But it does make its point, simply and dramatically. And, joy of joys, it means I've just enjoyed a Malteser Revel.
If I've been less generous than I was last time round, my apologies. It's just that there were none of the coveted orange Revels in the bag this week.
They do exist, though. And they're currently masquerading as campaigns for Rowntree's Fruit Pastilles and John Smith's.
Project: Audi used car dealerships
Client: Mark Bowles, used cars and after-sales product manager
Brief: Demonstrate the accuracy of Audi's used car dealership finder
Agency: Bartle Bogle Hegarty
Writers: George Prest and Johnny Leathers
Art directors: George Prest and Johnny Leathers
Photographer: England Photographic Atlas
Exposure: UK motoring press
Project: 2002 TV campaign
Client: Don Roberts, head of marketing
Brief: Demonstrate that travelling by train is time well spent
Agency: The Union
Writer: Michael Hart
Art director: Don Smith
Director: Dougal Wilson
Production company: MTP
Exposure: Scottish TV
Project: Pork Farms Bowyers
Client: Gary Johnston, marketing director
Brief: Acknowledge the fact that people secretly adore pork pies
Agency: Mustoe Merriman Levy
Writer: Ros Sinclair
Art director: Sean Thompson
Director: Jeff Stark
Production company: Stark Films
Exposure: Central TV region
Project: Adult literacy
Client: Adrian Hinds
Brief: Motivate adults with poor literacy and numeracy to enrol on a
Agency: St Luke's
Writer: Seyoan Vela
Art director: Colin Lamberton
Director: David Hartley
Production company: Brave
Exposure: National TV
Project: Mini Jammie Dodgers
Client: Paula O'Hare, senior brand manager
Brief: Make Jammie Dodgers lunchbox currency
Agency: Saatchi & Saatchi
Writer: Julian Dyer
Art director: Keith Jones
Director: Nick Jones
Production company: Rogue Films
Exposure: National TV
Project: The right Sprite campaign
Clients: Charlotte Oades, marketing director; David Tucker, marketing
manager, youth brands
Brief: Raise awareness of Sprite's thirst-quenching attributes
Writer: Sam Heath
Art director: Frank Ginger
Exposure: National posters