First suspect, a press campaign for the RAF.
Kowalski: Nice to see an ad for the forces that isn't just macho men in uniform. Strong B/W photography that would be at home in any fashion magazine. Trying to be different is never easy.
O'Callaghan: It must be some kind of selection process. If you can understand the ad you're smart enough to join up. I would have failed.
Next reprobate, a spot for the Mercedes Vaneo. One of those small people carrier thingies that all look the same.
Kowalski: A beautifully crafted film. A lot of effort has gone into bringing these images to our screen. Visual thinking seems to be the idea here. To the tune of What a Difference a Day Makes, a clock turns into a parasol, choirboys turn into sunflowers, umbrellas turn into Christmas trees.
O'Callaghan: Ad turns into a pile of poo! This ad could just as easily have had a Renault logo at the end of it. After all, this is for Mercedes. Suspect three, a press campaign for Loake shoes.
Kowalski: Anyone who manages to get curry houses, throwing up and sexual rebuffs into an ad for shoes is alright in my book. Having the confidence to say this brand may not be for you is brave. Congratulations.
O'Callaghan: The ads read like the brief and the art direction sucks. It neither showcases the product or makes me feel good about wearing the brand. Lines that start with "If you
are normally a sign of lazy writing. Turn to the right. Uniqlo.
Kowalski: Another one in this series of beautifully shot commercials for the Japanese clothing store. A simple idea. A guy kite-boarding finally gets dumped by a big wave. Demonstration of extreme clothing. Even managed to get the price of the garment in there. £7. Bargain. One happy client.
O'Callaghan: Gap on holiday, only not as original as the Gap when it first hit our screens. Step forward suspect five. Territorial Army Recruitment.
Kowalski: A campaign based on the fact that the TA recognizes what you're good at and puts it to good use, is the basis for some good ads. Girl dances on dancefloor all evening. Everyone else gets knackered. She has amazing stamina. Cut to her driving a TA Jeep. Again, a simple idea.
O'Callaghan: Even through the camouflage we can see your strategy showing. Ask yourself what is it that really makes someone want to join the Territorial Army? Sure as hell isn't these ads. And the final member of the line-up. A TV campaign for a furniture store called Room 2.
Kowalski: These are Scottish, so some of you won't have seen them. Shot on a low budget, the ads have a consistent sense of humour that reflects the down-to-earth nature of the client. A couple continually demonstrate the need to pay a visit to the store for all their household goods. My personal favourite; a man sits with his wife in darkness in the living room. He waits for the football stadium lights across the road to light up before he can read his paper. Time to go to Room 2 to get some light fittings.
O'Callaghan: If it was a sketch show I'd turn over.
Kowalski: Checking out having had another hard day at the office trying to help the law abiding citizens of the advertising fraternity.
O'Callaghan: They're just a load of useless no-good bums. Pass the ketchup.
And the moral of this Private View? It's easy to be a bad cop.