PRIVATE VIEW: Tony Granger is the executive creative director at Saatchi & Saatchi

When Mark Sweney sent me the work for this review last week, I had two minutes to put the tape quickly into the VHS, fumble with the remote control, try to find the right channel (those fucking things have a mind of their own) and view the work.

Fast forward to five days later, and half-an-hour before the deadline. I'm sitting here thinking back and trying to remember what I saw ...

What springs to mind immediately is the Clarks Kids work. The first is a demo for a running shoe with a built-in speedometer (great product).

It features a six-year-old child running on the spot while he brushes his teeth, plays, etc, reaching a speed of 19mph. Lemmy and his Motorhead colleagues provide a kick-arse soundtrack. Title: "For every kid there's a shoe that fits." The second features a young girl on the dance floor at one of those awful adult anniversary parties.

Just fantastic stuff. Simple idea that is obviously extremely campaignable and, judging by my memory banks, memorable too. I smiled from beginning to end. Surely if we're going to invade the consumers lounge every night, we have the obligation to entertain them? These do that beautifully.

What's next? Mmm ... oh yeah, there was the fcuk work that was interesting ... can't remember them exactly though ... better have a look.

The rebranding of French Connection UK was a genius idea. Fcuk saved the brand, made it cool and no doubt made its shareholders tons of money (hope they appreciate their agency). My favourite headline in the latest batch of posters is "It", with the fcuk logo in the bottom right-hand corner. But did they have to show the oh-so-modely type cool people?

"That's the fcuking point," I hear a voice inside my head saying. "It's fcuking irony." ("Enough pathetic fcuk jokes," I hear another voice say.)

Next, UK Gold. A campaign based around the thought that "most programmes aren't good enough". The idea is to shoot over-acted, badly shot ads for programmes that wouldn't get on to UK Gold. Two stunt husband spots, copycat, tearjerker and (my favourite) a spoof on the classic detective movie - two detectives on the "wrong side of the pond" (Detroit), who drink tea and eat biscuits. There is always a danger in shooting "bad" ads, they could just come across as bad ads.

Tomato and Worcestershire sauce by Lea & Perrins is next. A talking head telling us how tasty it all is (cut to extreme close-up of the plate of greasy food). He gets sooo carried away eating, that a voiceover has to come in and finish his dialogue. Mmmm ...

Normal rules do not apply, or so Vauxhall would have us believe. Its latest commercial for the Signum show various scenes of things breaking the rules - water flowing up a dam wall, an upside-down reflection as the car drives past a shop window and a city landscape reflected in the windscreen of the car as it drives through a country lane.

Finally, a print/poster campaign for Honda. Very simple. Very different. Lots of fun.

Well, that's it, I think. Better check.

Oh, hang on - there's another commercial for Clarks Kids. This time they are offering a free pencil case with every pair of Bootleg shoes. Here's the thing. The pencil case has a secret compartment to store revealing shots of cross-dressing fathers and various other dark closet type family secrets, all to be used for blackmail. Not as great as the other Clarks work, but kind of fun anyway.

CLARKS

Project: Children's shoes/ Bootleg back-to-school campaign

Client: Ted Hart, marketing manager

Briefs: Show parents that Clarks understands children and has shoes that

they'll love (children's shoes); lure children to the Bootleg brand with

this year's promotional item (Bootleg)

Agency: St Luke's

Writers: Nick Simons and Jules Chalkley (children's shoes); Tim Collins

(Bootleg)

Art directors: Nick Simons and Jules Chalkley (children's shoes); Tim

Collins (Bootleg)

Directors: David Lodge (children's shoes); Doug Wilson (Bootleg)

Production companies: Outsider Films (children's shoes); Blink (Bootleg)

Exposure: National TV

FCUK

Project: French Connection

Client: Stephen Marks, chairman and chief executive

Brief: Anti-fashion fashion from fcuk

Agency: TBWA\London

Writer: Trevor Beattie

Art director: Bil Bungay

Typographer: n/s

Photographer: Jacques Olivar

Exposure: National 96- and 48-sheet posters and fashion and style press

UK GOLD

Project: UK Gold

Client: Richard Kingsbury, marketing director, UKTV

Brief: Relaunch UK Gold by showing the quality of the new programming

Agency: Mother

Writer: Mother

Art director: Mother

Director: Mother

Production company: MJZ/BBC

Exposure: UKTV network, national and satellite TV

HONDA

Project: IMA technology

Client: Matt Coombe, marketing communications manager

Brief: Communicate the energy-saving benefit of IMA in a non-technical

manner

Agency: Wieden & Kennedy

Writer: Michael Russoff

Art director: Chris Groom

Typographer: Nguyen Townsend-Paley

Photographer: Mark Mattock

Exposure: National press, 48- and six-sheet posters

VAUXHALL

Project: Signum launch

Client: Patrick Dunster, marketing communications manager

Brief: Launch the Vauxhall Signum - a unique combination of versatility,

comfort and style

Agency: Lowe

Writer: Sarah Noughton

Art director: Alistair Ross

Director: Rob Sanders

Production company: HLA

Exposure: National TV

LEA & PERRINS

Project: Table sauce

Client: Bharti Parsotam, marketing, sales and development director

Brief: Launch Lea & Perrins table sauce

Agency: Mustoes

Writers: Neame Ingram and Paul Westmoreland

Art directors: Neame Ingram and Paul Westmoreland

Director: Declan Lowney

Production company: Tomboy Productions

Exposure: Terrestrial and cable TV

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