PRIVATE VIEW

A little 80-year-old man went into the confessional and said: ’Father, I have something to confess. I’ve just spent the whole day having sex with a young, busty blonde.’ The priest replied: ’You must say three Hail Marys and six Our Fathers.’ The little old man said: ’But Father, I’m not a Catholic.’ ’Then why are you telling me?’ the Priest asked. The little old man replied: ’I’m telling everybody.’

A little 80-year-old man went into the confessional and said:

’Father, I have something to confess. I’ve just spent the whole day

having sex with a young, busty blonde.’ The priest replied: ’You must

say three Hail Marys and six Our Fathers.’ The little old man said: ’But

Father, I’m not a Catholic.’ ’Then why are you telling me?’ the Priest

asked. The little old man replied: ’I’m telling everybody.’



Remember the old days, before advertising turned into crossword

clues?



When it used to be about telling somebody something you wanted

known.



Nowadays, you don’t do anything as crass as actually tell someone what

you want them to know. You just want them to enjoy the way you’re

telling them so much that they’ll be impressed. This reminds me of the

old excuse most football managers make after a game. ’I don’t know how

we lost, we had possession for 90 per cent of the game, they only got

the ball once and it was in the back of the net.’ Well, it may be

unfair, but the way the rules are currently set up, passing the ball

more attractively around the halfway line doesn’t exactly win you the

game.



Which leads us to the Carling campaign. Heavy metal soundtrack, TVs

falling from the sky like rain, blokey football reference, empty Carling

glass, TV smashes on pavement. As a punter, will my reaction be:

’Beautiful special effects, give us a pint of Carling, Harry?’ I think

not. I think it will be: ’Beautiful special effects, I wonder what it

was for?’ A few weeks into this campaign, the client will be feeling

like Alex Ferguson after the second leg against Monaco. ’We spent all

that money, the critics said we played better than the other team, how

come we lost?’ But why should that worry the creatives? The client

doesn’t sit on the D&AD jury, so who cares?



Which is pretty much my reaction, as a punter, to the Starburst

campaign: who cares? Something about monkeys and aliens in a laboratory

choosing a new name for the product. Well, they didn’t really choose the

new name, they were distracted by something outside the laboratory. Do

you get it?



Do you care? Me neither.



Transco puts its gas pipes underground! In a beautifully shot way, of

course. Sure, it might get a cinematography award, but is the craft

award really what an advertising agency should be aiming for? Isn’t that

a bit like Damon Hill getting the fair play award after he lost the 1995

Drivers Championship to Schumacher?



Next, the Robinsons ads or, should I say, the Robinsons prose? An ad for

fruit juice with the headline: ’Strawberries will forever taste of

courage.’ Do me a favour.



Which is something the agency should have done for the client in the UK

Gold commercial. A favour, like including the product in the ad. I love

the way this is shot, acted, edited and it really made me laugh.



I’d seen it several times before the video arrived on my desk,

remembered I loved it, could repeat it frame-for-frame, and



didn’t have a clue who or what it was for.



And having a clue leads me on to the Olivio ads. They are beautifully

photographed, stylishly art directed and well written. But what makes

them different is that they’re about the product. They tell me what’s

good about it and why you should buy it. In fact, they illustrate that

the choice needn’t be between boring ads that sell and entertaining ads

that don’t.





Van den Bergh Foods

Project: Olivio

Client: Andy Duncan, marketing director

Brief: Communicate the benefits of eating Olivio as part of a

Mediterranean-style diet

Agency: Bartle Bogle Hegarty

Writer: Roger Beckett

Art director: Andrew Smart

Photographer: Max Forsythe

Typographer: Andrew Bird

Exposure: National magazines

Britvic Soft Drinks

Project: Robinsons Fruit and Barley

Client: Andrew Marsden, marketing director

Brief: Highlight the drink’s intriguing taste

Agency: HHCL & Partners

Creative team: Antonia Green and Nani Kohler

Photographer: Philip Lee Harvey

Typographer: Simon Manchipp

Exposure: Women’s magazines

Mars

Project: Starburst

Client: Michele Frost, senior marketing manager

Brief: Inform consumers that Opal Fruits has changed its name but is

still the same product

Agency: Grey

Writer: Suzanne O’Donnell

Art director: Brian Lefkovitz

Director: Billy Kent

Production company: BFCS

Exposure: National TV

Transco

Project: Transco

Client: Sandie Harris, advertising manager

Brief: Raise awareness and understanding of Transco in the changing gas

market

Agency: HHCL & Partners

Project team: Alison Wright, Andrew Lloyd-Jones, John Hartley, Robert

Phillips

Director: Tom Connolly

Production company: Sneezing Tree

Exposure: National TV

Bass

Project: Carling

Client: Guy North, marketing manager

Brief: Bring the values of Carling to life in a more contemporary way

for a new generation of drinkers

Agency: WCRS

Writer: Larry Barker

Art director: Rooney Carruthers

Director: Big TV

Production company: Academy

Exposure: National TV and cinema

BBC and Flextech

Project: UK Gold

Client: Jane Turner, UK TV marketing controller

Brief: Promote UK Gold’s comedy programmes

Agency: GGT

Writer: James Sinclair

Art director: Ed Morris

Director: Colin Gregg

Production company: Eclipse

Exposure: Cable and satellite TV



Topics

Become a member of Campaign from just £46 a quarter

Get the very latest news and insight from Campaign with unrestricted access to campaignlive.co.uk plus get exclusive discounts to Campaign events

Looking for a new job?

Get the latest creative jobs in advertising, media, marketing and digital delivered directly to your inbox each day.

Create an Alert Now

Partner content

Share

1 Job description: Digital marketing executive

Digital marketing executives oversee the online marketing strategy for their organisation. They plan and execute digital (including email) marketing campaigns and design, maintain and supply content for the organisation's website(s).