PRIVATE VIEW

Rowenta’s latest commercial depicts a race between two women with vacuum cleaners along an obstacle course consisting of messes they have to clean up. Everybody remotely connected with this sexist ordure should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves. In disgust, I have thrown out all my Rowenta appliances, including my trusty codpiece warmer, the Vibrapoint, which I had quite forgotten was by Rowenta as the logo is on the inside and has mostly worn away.

Rowenta’s latest commercial depicts a race between two women with

vacuum cleaners along an obstacle course consisting of messes they have

to clean up. Everybody remotely connected with this sexist ordure should

be thoroughly ashamed of themselves. In disgust, I have thrown out all

my Rowenta appliances, including my trusty codpiece warmer, the

Vibrapoint, which I had quite forgotten was by Rowenta as the logo is on

the inside and has mostly worn away.



In the ad for Goldfish, alternative lifestyle-types somewhere volcanic

reject to camera the latest benefits of the card. A valiant go at

conveying a shopping list of benefits but in a medium - TV - which is

absolutely not the place for shopping lists of benefits because Real

World people (as opposed to Market Researchworld people) get confused

and are likely to remember nothing.



The new BP commercial is a charmingly filmed attempt to represent that

vast megaglomerate as a touchy-feely, down-home kinda gingham

table-clothed Scout hut. However, pleasantly unobtrusive goings-on like

people running about or staring at trees are marred by an interminable

voiceover that nobody in Real World is ever going to pick the bones out

of, along with a hideous, green, industrial-strength end sequence titled

’For the journey ahead’ which could have been lifted out of the opening

credits of the Rowenta (Dusseldorf) staff induction video.



Pimm’s is putting up a bunch of posters that attempt to capture the

emotional flavour, if you will, of all that Pimm’s evokes. The smell of

freshly cut grass. The splash of a swimming pool. Sunlight on closed

eyelids.



The sizzle of a barbecue. The braying of a bunch of pie-eyed hoorays

looking for a good shoe-ing. (Yeah, all right, I made up the last one.)

The intention, as you can see opposite, is to create impressions rather

than expressions, hints rather than statements, a sense rather than a

sell. These are exciting intentions, not quite delivered by the posters

themselves. It would have been interesting to have let a truly great art

director get his or her teeth into it, an experience I’m not unfamiliar

with at home.



Specsuality, homospecsuality, heterospecsuality and bispecsuality are

the one-word headlines of the four French Connection Eyewear

posters.



The message is crystal clear: fcuk now does spectacles for absolutely

everyone except lesbians. This is brilliant market segmentative strategy

on the part of fcuk, which has clearly worked out that the extra expense

required to machine the spectacle bridge so it lies snug to the average

lesbian nose is simply not viable for this relatively small and largely

non-proliferate target market.



But seriously, another hugely successful launch for fcuk, I suspect.



While this work is not my cup of tea, I absolutely guarantee that every

single person in Advillage will have a point of view about these posters

- positive, negative or otherwise. Factor-in similar impact for Real

World and you’ve got a buzz going which anyone would give their right

arm for.



Meanwhile, the most obviously sequel-able movie in history, ET, finally

gets its sequel in the shape of the new BT work. There’s no point me

describing the film, because you’ll already have seen it. And there you

have the bold, bludgeoning beauty of this fantastic advertiser: BT gets

hold of a simple something, bangs it out there, puts money where its

mouth is, and everyone-but-everyone sees it.



The effect on the consumer is thus 100 per cent grasp of a single

thought: BT now has ET, extra technology. As a denizen of Advillage I

believe the only thing wrong with this ad is that Spielberg didn’t

direct it. Nevertheless, as an inhabitant of Real World, I see people

all around me getting the message: BT is so big and cuddly, godammit,

it’s the only telecommunications game in town.



Vision. Guts. Money. Groovy.





BP

Project: Cleaner fuels

Client: Michel van Eesbeeck, advertising manager, global brand

Brief: Position BP as a provider of cleaner fuels

Agency: Doner Cardwell Hawkins

Writers: Gary Wolfson, Paul Cardwell

Art directors: Gary Wolfson, Paul Cardwell

Director: Ken Arlidge

Production company: Flying Tiger Films

Exposure: Global TV

GOLDFISH

Project: Goldfish Card

Client: Grant Millar, marketing director

Brief: Establish Goldfish as the card whose benefits help all around the

home

Agency: TBWA GGT Simons Palmer

Writer: Jason Fretwell

Art director: Greg Milbourne

Director: Rob Sanders

Production company: Helen Langridge Associates

Exposure: National terrestrial and satellite TV

BT

Project: Communication

Clients: Tim Evans, head of marketing communications, Katrina Lowes,

head of advertising

Brief: Relaunch BT as more than a phone company

Agency: Abbott Mead Vickers BBDO

Writer: Peter Souter

Art director: Mike Durban

Director: Paul Weiland

Production company: Paul Weiland Film Company

Exposure: National TV

FRENCH CONNECTION

Project: Eyewear

Client: Stephen Marks, chief executive

Brief: Extend the fcuk attitude into eyewear

Agency: TBWA GGT Simons Palmer

Writer: Trevor Beattie

Art director: Bil Bungay

Photographer: William Garrett

Exposure: Press and posters

ROWENTA

Project: Rowenta Tonixo

Client: Joel Cordier

Brief: Show the benefits of the triangular nozzle

Agency: Publicis Frankfurt

Writer: Christopher Czerwenka

Art director: Jochen Leisinger

Director: Andreas Hoffmann

Production company: Final Touch

Exposure: National terrestrial and satellite TV

UDV UK

Project: Pimm’s

Client: Peader Hegarty, marketing controller

Brief: Build the feel-good associations of Pimm’s

Agency: Court Burkitt & Co

Writer: Jon Leney

Art director: Richard Donovan

Typographer: Alison Wills

Exposure: Press and posters