PRIVATE VIEW

Why advertise Viagra? If ever there was a product that absolutely everyone knew a) existed, b) what it did, and c) where to find out more about it, Viagra is it. Anyway, unremarkable ad, remarkable endline. ’Oral treatment for erectile dysfunction’ is a classic in the ’Never knowingly undersold’ league, but considerably funnier. As tasks go, this one was clearly a stiffy. Some writers might have blown it, but this one’s pulled it off.

Why advertise Viagra? If ever there was a product that absolutely

everyone knew a) existed, b) what it did, and c) where to find out more

about it, Viagra is it. Anyway, unremarkable ad, remarkable endline.

’Oral treatment for erectile dysfunction’ is a classic in the ’Never

knowingly undersold’ league, but considerably funnier. As tasks go, this

one was clearly a stiffy. Some writers might have blown it, but this

one’s pulled it off.



Spooky that in this modern industrialised society - which boasts such

wonders as Tiger, brand building, literature, film, music, parity

product differentiation, TV and Gus Poyet’s forehead - there exist poor

unfortunates with lives so pitifully empty that they would grasp at

anything to fill that void. Yes, even writing to Campaign to complain

about Private View.



It saddens me to think of such individuals, mouldering alone in their

garrets of an evening, Bachman Turner Overdrive on the stereo, a lightly

microwaved Peperami in one hand, wristing away at their laptop with the

other, an open bottle of Kaliber standing nearby as Carol Vorderman

gazes down in silent approbation from the poster on the wall ...



To them, I say sorry. Private View is just that, a private view. It’s

only your work that gets overcast with aspersions, not you

personally.



I only work here at Haymarket freelance but, had I the corporate Viagra

to swell my column inches, you’d see me for the equanimous,

apple-cheeked, old village parson I really am.



The Guardian spot. In one commercial we see people reflected in a wobbly

mirror in the middle of a field; in the other we see a bald man sitting

at a table on the end of a pontoon. On the table is a plate, upon the

far rim of which sits a lizard. There are three variations of this

commercial and in all a fly lands on the plate. In the first version,

the man gets the fly with his long tongue (if he could breathe through

his ears and not look so much like Nigel Rose, he’d be a big hit with

the girls) but the fly escapes; in the second, the fly doesn’t escape;

in the third, the fly eats the man. There’s also a little song and a

voiceover saying something like, ’Free from a proprietor, free to

surprise, free thinkers welcome.’



Personally, I find this all resolutely, nay, pugnaciously,

indecipherable.



Give me the economy and directness of the Guardian skinhead any day (and

I’m not just talking about Tim Delaney).



Fairness demands I point out that there will doubtless be many people

who will love this work. The complex, cerebral nature of the executions

suggests those people may well be existing/potential Guardian

readers.



If so, jolly good luck to client and agency (who, by the way, are bloody

good and the vast majority of their work absolutely excellent, thanks to

superb creative direction from the dashing Simon Green and charming John

Dean - big kiss to knock-out wife, Denise, long time no see -

cutting-edge planning from mega-brain, Leslie Butterfield, and all-round

good account man-type stuff from Nigel ’Havers’ Long).



The Pizza Hut spot, while not mould-breaking, has an extra tiny Ronnie

Corbett co-starring with extra large pizzas, keeping Pizza Hut the work

probably most loved by real people.



The Lego commercial involves dignitaries visiting a suburban house to

collect a young chap’s Lego creation. We never see the creation because

’it’s in the box’, a phrase which, in the following 20 or 30 seconds,

becomes a mantra throughout the world. Wonderful stuff for any child up

to the age of 134.



The commercial launching the Volvo S80 seeks to do it, eccentrically, on

the basis of the car’s anti-whiplash seats. I’ve never met anyone who’s

had whiplash. Not the best omen for prospective sales, one might

argue?



The Bacofoil commercial involves food with arms, legs and

sunglasses.





BACO CONSUMER PRODUCTS

Project: Diamond Bacofoil

Client: Sian Horton, marketing controller

Brief: Demonstrate the desirability of strongest ever Bacofoil

Agency: Jaffe Keating

Writers: George Theo, Paddy Keating

Art director: Su-Lynn Tan

Director: Barry Keith

Production company: Puppetoon Productions

Exposure: National TV

GUARDIAN NEWSPAPERS

Project: The Guardian

Client: Stephen Palmer, marketing director

Brief: Communicate the benefits of the Guardian’s free-thinking attitude

Agency: Partners BDDH

Writer: John Dean

Art director: Simon Green

Director: Joe Public

Production company: Partizan Midi Minuit

Exposure: National TV, cinema

PIZZA HUT

Project: Pizza Hut Grand Pan Pizzas

Client: Amanda Bindon, marketing manager

Brief: Launch Grand Pan Pizzas in the UK

Agency: Abbott Mead Vickers BBDO

Writer: Peter Souter

Art director: Paul Brazier

Director: Peter Truckel

Production company: Big Bang

Exposure: National TV

LEGO

Project: Lego

Client: Ole Primdahl, European advertising manager

Brief: Lego stimulates children’s creativity and imagination

Agency: Bartle Bogle Hegarty

Writer: Roger Beckett

Art director: Andrew Smart

Director: Frank Budgen

Production company: Gorgeous

Exposure: Regional TV

PFIZER

Project: Viagra

Client: Peter Smith, product manager

Brief: Communicate the positive effect Viagra can have on relationships

Agency: Paling Walters Targis

Writer: Matt Reid

Art director: Adrian Parr

Photographer: Euan Myles

Exposure: Medical press

VOLVO UK

Project: Volvo S80

Client: Hans Krondahl, vice-president of global marketing

Brief: Launch the S80 luxury sedan as the most exciting and safest Volvo

ever

Agency: Abbott Mead

Vickers BBDO Writer: Peter Souter

Art director: Mike Durban

Director: Sharon Maguire

Production company: D-Films

Exposure: National TV



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1 Job description: Digital marketing executive

Digital marketing executives oversee the online marketing strategy for their organisation. They plan and execute digital (including email) marketing campaigns and design, maintain and supply content for the organisation's website(s).