PUNCH: AN EXPERT’S VIEW - Gratuitous sex is the main ingredient in the new-look Punch, Alan Johnson says

Punch magazine has been unwell for sometime. Although many suspected the illness would be fatal, this is apparently not the case. The new Punch claims to be fighting fit and ready to please its readers. The message is: Punch is back and this time it’s funny.

Punch magazine has been unwell for sometime. Although many

suspected the illness would be fatal, this is apparently not the case.

The new Punch claims to be fighting fit and ready to please its readers.

The message is: Punch is back and this time it’s funny.



Problem is, Punch has returned to the newsstands as a schizophrenic.



A cross between Loaded, the National Enquirer and Private Eye, Punch

can’t quite decide which one it wants to be. All of them? None of them?

’Oh, it’s so complicated,’ the confused Mr Punch says, ’why don’t you

dear readers choose instead?’ Or not, as the case may be.



The first hint that something odd is going on is the appearance of

flesh.



Well, to be more precise, breasts. Punch has discovered breasts and it

thinks they’re great. Not only does it think they’re great, it wants to

show you as many of them as possible. Gratuitous? No problem. It even

has a page called ’gratuitous sex’. Laughed? Well, no, not really.



Want to know about the sex life of the PR hotshot, Matthew Freud? Well,

now you can. His ex-girlfriend, Marina Baker, tells all (oh yeah, by the

way, they only broke up five years ago, so its really current and, oh

yeah, there are some breasts in there too). There is a piece on this

summer’s Hollywood blockbusters - but I think it’s only so that we can

be shown a picture of Demi Moore with, wait for it, nothing on. And

there is a spread on ads banned by the Advertising Standards Authority

called, wait for it, ’sex sells’ (you guessed it, there are some breasts

in there too).



What can I say? Get well soon.



Alan Johnson is a media doctor and promises to visit Punch next time

it’s on his ward.



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