A week of mixed fortunes. I am at last making real progress toward
a face-to-face with my marketing director, Anne Ville. Only yesterday, I
caught a glimpse of the back of her leg as she disappeared around a
corner at the far end of the management floor.
Unfortunately, by the time I had raced up the corridor she had slipped
into a meeting where she spent the rest of the morning with Donal Crass,
who manages XYY, which, as you probably know, is the UK’s fifth
best-selling premium lager.
But I know that she really does mean to sit down with me to discuss
psychopops because her secretary, Debbie, keeps telling me so. In fact,
she is so keen that the last thing she did yesterday before she took off
for her first holiday in four years, was to tell Debbie to book a
meeting for the morning she returns. In three weeks’ time.
Debbie says that Anne’s meeting with Donal had mixed implications for
me. Donal, you should know, has been the star performer in the
department recently. This is largely due to his brilliant political
skills, his tireless self-promotion and an unerring ability to keep his
brand hot by surfing the crest of every trend and fad that appears in
the fickle waters of the modern drinks industry.
The good news is that, according to Debbie, Anne spent the meeting
outlining to Donal the nature of the opportunity for XYY that would
arise from having a zero advertising budget and no promotions for the
rest of the year.
Yes, it seems that the powers that be are so on board the psychopops
project that they are squeezing money from all over the shop to pay for
it.
The bad news is that, with his advertising spiked and his promotions
binned, Donal now has bugger all to do for the next six months. His
diary stretches out before him, emptier even than Anne Ville’s social
life. And as we know, the devil makes work for idle hands.
In fact, it is surprising just how much idle hands can achieve in just
one lunchtime. I spent this afternoon sweatily fielding calls from the
Sunday papers, who were looking for comments on rumours that GBH is
gearing up to sell drugs to teenagers. If that one gets out, my project
is going to be history before it even starts. And who do you think has
most to gain if that happens? I think I have a dangerous adversary on my
hands.
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