Tess Alps

Tess Alps



Contact me
  • (020) 7630 2320
  • TessAlps
  • Manning House, 22 Carlisle Place, London, SW1 1JA, United Kingdom
My Character:
  • Charismatic
  • Good egg
  • Intellectual
  • Legend
Work email


Bye-bye the decade with no name. What are you relieved to draw a line under?

I am a crazy optimist, so very much hoping that we will have seen the back of one B. Johnson by January 2020. (Three weeks to the election as I write with crossed fingers.)

What’s your biggest hope for the decade ahead?

Carbon neutrality and world peace. Maybe the other way round.

And what’s top of your professional to-do list for the 2020s?

Multi-platform TV measurement.

You have to job swap with someone in our industry for one month. Who would it be with and why?

David Wilding. Because I love Twitter and I think he loves telly.

Who is your best friend in the industry and why?

There are six people very close to my heart from this industry and I'm not about to piss off five of them.

What do you think the Friday feeling is?

Tidying up before the cleaner arrives.

Who or what would you put into room 101 and why?

Americans (mainly actresses) who speak with "vocal fry". Those grating voices do my head in. Superficial and snobby, maybe, but don't care.

If you could uninvent one piece of technology, what would you choose and why?

Online tracking. Orwellian surveillance dystopia, innit.

In the spirit of embracing failure… What has been your biggest screw-up?

Going up to a bloke at a party and asking him whether he knew his girlfriend's nickname was the Whore of Babylon. I wasn't even drunk.

What do you do to stay match fit?

Annoyingly, subscribe to both Sky Sports and BT Sport to catch every Liverpool match.

What would be your darts walk-on music and why?

The Ride of the Valkyries. Intimidating and thrilling. Life goals.

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