The Annual 2004: The 10 Worst celebrity appearances

1. Linda Barker and David Seaman for Currys

As if Linda Barker wasn't bad enough. Well done Currys and M&C Saatchi for making one of the most excruciating celeb appearances even worse by the addition of His Woodenness David Seaman. The some-time shot-stopper's acting is more mechanical than the products he's flogging.

2. David Beckham for Gillette

You've seen it a thousand times before. Man has stubble, man shaves with Gillette razor, man looks into camera, strokes face and smiles smugly. After an eternity of churning out the same old drivel, why can't they come up with something, anything, better? And more fool Beckham for agreeing to put his face to it. It' s not one he'll treasure alongside the "Beckham's greatest goals" VHS. Surely he doesn't need the money.

3. Kim Cattrall for Tetley Tea

The end of Sex and the City unleashed a new wave of weak celebrity endorsements to cash in on the fame of the series before it's forgotten. Enter Kim Cattrall, strangely cast in an ad for Tetley Tea. Her performance is pure Samantha, but has nothing to do with the product. The Tetley Tea Folk will be turning in their graves.

4. Dean Gaffney for Smirnoff Ice

You've probably blanked it out of your minds, but who remembers Dean Gaffney's dreadful appearance in Smirnoff Ice's "lyriquid perfection" campaign? Surely a low point in both Gaffney's career and Smirnoff Ice's advertising. Not surprisingly, the account went into review.

5. Michael Owen for Persil

Michael Owen really should stick to what he knows best - putting a ball in the back of a net - as he certainly won't be winning any medals for this performance. The commercial, shot by Tom Carty, is pretty strong until Owen shows up at the end, with a pack of Persil under his arm.

6. Sarah Jessica Parker for Gap

Another Sex and the City refugee, this time SJP herself joins Lennie Kravitz and begins shaking her bootie (something we could all have lived without) to promote Gap. Accustomed, as we are, to seeing Ms Parker dolled up in the finest designer gear, Gap's clothing was a bit of a let-down.

7. Mel Sykes for Head & Shoulders

Lame. Pointless. Mel Sykes uttering the insincere line "the things I do to hydrate my skin" as if she's at her wits' end before revealing that all she does is drink water is, well, annoying.

8. Jeremy Clarkson for BT

Jeremy Clarkson's appearance in BT advertising was also a big let-down. Casting one of TV's most politically incorrect personalities for the mass market seems a strange move. There's no room in this campaign for his humour and strength of opinion.

9. Tim Henman for Ariel

Where would we be without Tim Henman's annual endorsement of Ariel's ability to wash whites whiter? A lot better off is the answer. This year, he delivered one of the most overacted double-takes worthy of a mention in the Hammy Acting Hall of Fame.

10. Fay Ripley for The National Lottery

Fay Ripley has come a long way since her appearance in the cult UK drama Cold Feet. Now she's starring in populist ads as Lady Luck with a gay purple unicorn called Barry for a sidekick. What went wrong?


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